Harvey Korman, Rest in Peace

I was saddened that Harvey Korman died this week.

You see, Harvey was my first crush. I even wrote him and told him so when I was six years old, but he never wrote back. Probably he got too many fan letters back then, and maybe he had an assistant that didn't think it was worth showing him a 1st grader's letter. I would like to think he would have answered if he had seen it. I was disappointed, but still thought he was the coolest guy on the Carol Burnett show anyway. Tim Conway was great too, but just a little too weird for me.

He was the ultimate comedic straight man, and you could see that he was a joy to work with--it came through on the show and in his movies. And he was a joy to watch, especially when he would crack up at something Tim or Carol or even Lyle were doing.

I will miss him.

Ode to a Minivan

O, 1995 Odyssey, thou art a member of the family
but you have grown old, so it is time to let you go
Nay, we will not be like the eskimos, sending you out on an ice flow
That would not be environmental, as no bear will eat you.

The children are crying and knashing their teeth
Thou, Odyssey are the only car they have known
Many happy hours spent in the back seats, telling stories and
Spilling food and drink, giving you that unique odor.

We thought of donating you, but were aghast
We could not claim your full Blue Book value
Cruel charity would only sell you for scrap
Unfair for an old girl with some spirit and drivability yet.

I cast about among my artist friends, asking,
"Does anyone want a van--to drive it, love it and use it?"
No one answered. I was aghast again.
Later, I found Artists are never swift of email, even if the car is donated for a write off.

We cast our eyes upon our bank account. Whoa.
Surely, it is worth putting a few for sales signs upon your windows
Price it well, if no one responds, so be it.
The old girl must be useful to someone.

Immediately, Odyssey was besieged! People were calling!
Yea, there was much interest you, O dependable old car
Even if you need new tires and a new battery
Desirous of you, even if your ABS is only intermittent!

Our next door neighbors delighted
Took you on a test drive, and
Declared their intentions of taking you
For their teen is driving, and lo, they had not enough cars.

O, Odyssey, you shall now be our neighbor
Our children are overjoyed
You will be well cared for, and in 5 years,
The kids vowed they will buy you back as their own again.

O, beloved Odyssey, may you not rust apart before then...

Memorial Day Parade

Today we honor those who serve our country, and those who have perished serving our country. This is the first year that one of our kids has not marched in the parade with the cub scouts. Both Dan and our kids are paraded out, having put in their time for about 12 parades since our oldest started with the scouts. You miss a lot marching, and the parade really isn't about the scouts, so sometimes they get stuck behind the horses, or a really gassy old vehicle. The glamour is gone. Time to watch instead.

Every time I watch the parades in our community, I am struck with how many groups now throw candy--in our community, going to a parade is like trick or treat. Kids arrive to the parade route with bags! Our scout leader this year decided that they would not throw candy for the Memorial Day parade because it seemed disrespectful to the spirit of the holiday. I see her point. However, the Veterans of Foreign Wars that is sponsoring the troop and going directly ahead of them is throwing gobs of candy. I think if you have fought in a war and you want to throw candy, you have a right to throw candy.

When I was a kid, the Memorial Day parade was somewhat more solemn, and not much candy was to be found. Some organization though, always passed out American Flags, and another would hand out POW/MIA buttons. My favorite was a frowning smiley face button that said "POWs never have a nice day." Back then, it was still possible to see WW1 veterans (really old) and legions of WW2 veterans. My older brother would boo the Vietnam vets. It was the times, and he didn't really understand he just did what the older kids did, but it must have hurt them anyway.

My parents would confiscate the flags as soon as the parade was over, because they always had that pointy gold wood piece at the top, perfect for poking your sibling, or gouging an eye out.

We did not know any fallen soldiers. My dad was too young for WW2 and Korea, and spent the time before Vietnam in the Army, sitting in a pineapple field in Hawaii translating Russian communications. Both of my brothers served in peaceable conditions as well between wars. We were lucky. We have two uncles that served, one of them a gentle soul who nonetheless served as a marine and was at Guadalcanal. He refused to talk about it. The other was career army from Korean to the Vietnam Wars, and was tough enough to train Green Berets.

I hope the Iraq war veterans today are getting a great welcome and recognition in our community today, whether they are throwing candy or not. They are people who believe in our country, who have suffered greatly, and who have been betrayed by a president and vice president who lied us into the war, for what seems to be only their own profit and the profit of their cronies. That doesn't make our service people any less valiant or less worthy of honor. They should be honored for their loyalty and service to country and the Bush Administration reviled for betraying them. Actually Bush and company should be prosecuted. It could happen...sigh...it makes me so angry...

Many people will go through this holiday without a thought for what it means. Many others live every day feeling the loss of a loved one that they lost in serving their country.

Stupid Ordinance vote has been pulled!

According to www.savechicagoculture.org, the vote has been pulled out of consideration thanks to overwhelming public outcry. I guess the clamor at the aldermans' offices was getting deafening. W00T! But it isn't gone yet--it is only off the table for now. However, the entertainment industry will make sure they have some input on what alterations may be needed to block shifty promoters while leaving the legitimate ones to do their jobs.

Chicago's Stupidest Ordinance yet!

Chicago City Council is going to vote tomorrow on the stupidest ordinance yet, that may cripple the vibrant art, music and theatre scene in Chicago and ruin the city's economy and reputation.

The “Event Promoters” ordinance requires any event promoter to have a license from the city of Chicago and liability insurance of $300,000, but that’s just the start:

• The definition of “event promoter” is so loosely defined it could apply to a band that books its own shows or a theater company that’s in town for a one-week run.
• “Event Promoter” must be licensed and will pay $500 - $2000 depending on expected audience size.
• To get the license, applicant must be over 21, get fingerprinted, submit to a background check, and jump over several other hurdles.
• This ordinance seems targeted towards smaller venues, since those with 500+ permanent seats are exempt.
• Police must be notified at least 7 days in advance of event.

Read and make your voice heard here.

This was borne of the E2 stampede disaster a few years back, caused by some shifty promoters who were not in compliance with existing laws. Someone thought this would be a great way to make a few more bucks on fee, making it prohibitive to produce anything in a venue less than 500 seats.

Think of it--Chicago without innovative storefront theatres, without its music scene, without comedy, without anything but bland big box shows that are no better than what you get on cable. Chicago, what a boring town. Why spend the gas money going there to go eat and shop and catch that crap?

This would not produce a win for anyone. This is the stupidest short-sighted thing City Council has come up with yet. Speak out. Call the alderman. Make your voices heard.

Update on Mr. Hit and Run

Today we went to court to potentially testify against Mr. Hit and Run who totaled our car and broke my ribs last summer on I90. The court time was 9:00am, which meant for us to get there and make sure we had plenty of lead time, we caught a 7:20am train. It was an early day for all of us, and the kids made it to school essentially on their own.

Mr. Hit and Run's lawyer told me earlier that Mr. Hit and Run was only going to plead guilty to an improper lane change, which makes no sense to me. We made sure to be there to make sure he didn't weasel out of anything, like leaving the scene of an accident, which could get him up to a year in jail.

Because we were there, he had to plead guilty to both counts, and he got probation, supervision, remedial driving classes, traffic school, and court costs and fines. His insurance company will be notified that he was guilty of both counts, and his insurance will go up or be canceled accordingly.

I am kind of glad that he didn't get jail time, he is just soft enough looking to have a terrible time there. And for me, it is really enough that he plead guilty and takes responsibility for his actions. It gives me closure, and now I can forgive him and be able to let it go.

Since when do we all think like our pastors?

I am fed up with all the attention on Barack Obama's old pastor. The guy has his opinions, he has his agenda, and he is really loving all the attention to the point of self-parody. He's becoming the media's new Britney Spears/Paris Hilton! Forget focusing attention on the real problems facing black America, it's all about him. I expect next he's going to adopt a miniature dog and dress it in a matching dashiki! That's hot!

The media is trying so hard to make him an issue, or a strike against Obama, but it doesn't work. Why? Because WE have pastors, and we don't think in lockstep with them all the time either. Even if we have men in our lives who have sometimes functioned as father figures, most of the public is sensible enough to understand that none of us think exactly like our parental figures either. In fact, parents and parental figures can be completely and embarrassingly different in ethics, beliefs and ideals. It doesn't change who we are and what we believe just because we love them.

So, media, please, leave off reporting on this flamboyant and embarrassing man, and stick to the real issues for once that are facing this country. I flip away from your channels when stupidity and non-news is being reported, and my channel changing button is getting worn out.

More Lights OUT hours!

A few weeks ago, as a world we did a voluntary "turn off the lights" hour. Enormous amounts of power were saved, all over the world, and that was voluntary for one simple hour.

Unless you are living under a rock or in the Bush Administration, the word is getting out loud and clear that we need to drastically change what we do as a human race to slow or stop global warming. What if, as part of our effort, we started to do voluntary "power out" hours not only once a year, but weekly? Or even daily??? Even if some people would not or could not participate, it could be a step in the right direction for stopping our energy usage from killing us faster than it already is.

Think of it--each energy user in the world pledging to turn off non-essential lighting and energy usage for ONE HOUR seriously once a day. This is only the start of a new awareness of how we could be doing so much more.

We are going to have to start thinking of "sacrificing" our greed for easy energy and entertainment. As a beginning, let's start with something easy, yet something mindful. Something we may not mind adding more of, once we see how easy it is.

Decide on your hour. Encourage your towns and cities to decide on an hour--every week. It doesn't even all need to be the same hour all over the world. See how easy it could be.

Millions of tons of green house gases. It could become a festival, an event to look forward to, a time to be thinking of something larger than one's self, once a week, once a day or more.

Another thing we can all be doing now is signing up for Com Ed's Nature First program, which gives permission during high power usage times in the summer to shut down your air conditioner for 1-3 hours during the day. I did this in California when we lived there, and even on days that got over 100 degrees F I barely noticed my comfort level changing in the house at all, even if I was working from home all day.

It's these are easy steps, and we should be making them...now.

April Fools

Before he went to work this morning, my husband went searching for the boys' Pokemon card decks. He wanted to play a joke on them by switching their energy cards so neither of them could play anything in their decks. You would think this was pretty obscure practical joke, and it is. He also knows that they are gearing up for a regional tournament and are working feverishly on improving their decks and playing scrimmages. Both kids are tournament champions. Their decks are always being worked on.

As Dan left for work he said, "I want to see what they do to get back at me."

April Fools Day is embraced by the male members of this family. Some of my favorite things I have found on April Fools Day have been:

Legos in my pillow
Salt on my toothbrush
My jacket sleeves turned inside out
Shoes filled with Legos
My comb replaced with the cat brush

My all time favorite was when the boys were very young. Both of them were hinting very broadly that I really needed to go play on the computer after I tucked them in. I left their room with them snickering under their blankets. On the office chair was a whoopie cushion. It was undisguised, just sitting there in yellow fullness. So, I sat on it as hard as I could to make a nice loud farting noise, and their laughter burst into the hallway. They gave each other high fives! "We got her!" the younger one shouted! It was the greatest trick ever!

I haven't found anything yet from the kids this morning, but I look forward to this afternoon.

*Later*

No practical jokes at all! Wah! The problem is that they had too much homework, so they had to get to that. Stupid school...but April is a long month.

Totally not an April Fools joke, my young friends at Rubbish had their short film, "Eyelids" make it into the Short Film Corner of the 2008 Cannes Film Festival! This short is starring my youngest son, Alex (and I am in there for about 3 seconds too) so we are very excited! It reminds me that we need to look into getting our passports updated...

Spring Break, Midwest Style

When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money, so going anywhere for spring break was out of the question. However, Ohio always had a lot to offer--it could easily snow early in the break and be 70 degrees by the end of the week. With the iffy weather, some breaks made us start to crave time structured by school rather than the daytime TV schedule in a remarkably short period of time. Some breaks made us anxious to start summer break immediately.

We have been fortunate enough to have spring breaks with travel for our kids, but this year we are staying home. Sure enough, it is only Tuesday, and we have already had 8 inches of heavy snow, followed by three 50+ degree days. It is the midwest, and it is spring break. We couldn't get more variety if we were driving somewhere...

Regional Cultures I have Known and Loved

So far I lived in 3 distinct areas around the country. I have lived in Ohio, California, and Illinois. Each has its distinct micro-culture that which gives the places and the people a unique feel and a unique set of endearing quirks to note and appreciate.

Ohio is where I was raised, and Central Ohio will always feel like home. However, moving away from it made me realize what a strange little place it is. People always say "Excuse me" when they bump into you. They are extremely friendly and easy to get to know. And yet, there are are more conservative to the point of ridiculous church people per square mile than anywhere else in the midwest except Indiana. Scarlett and Gray clothing is everywhere, along with dumpy fashion standards, and rabid Buckeye football mania is the region's other uptight religion. Still, I love it.

Northern California was huge culture shock from Ohio, but within the first year, I adjusted. People get to know each other through activity and work, and there isn't a lot of sitting around and hanging out and talking. Californians play hard and work hard. Native Californians, as a rule, made flaky employees--they had learned before the rest of the nation that no employer is loyal to them, so they had no loyalty to the employer. No one says excuse me when they bump into you unless they did it really hard--there are just too many people there, the courtesy was not observed. Northern Californians dress better, and have a definitely cooler style.

When we moved to the Chicago area, and there was a new culture to explore. Less friendly at first than Ohioans, but able to have deeper relationships than a Northern Californian. If invited to a group of women that I did not know, depending on the social status, this is what would happen:

With my softball team, when I first joined we went out for drinks after a game, and no one asked me about myself. I was acknowledged, yet not invited directly into any conversation. At first I was feeling like this was rather cliquey and unfriendly, but eye contact was made and pauses were made in the conversation, as if allowing me to interject something. No one was going to ask anything directly, but I was welcome to chime in if I had something to add. This was a more blue collar group, and once I understood the dynamic, I was able to join in and start making some friends.

My white collar friends also had some part of this in their dynamic, but usually some of the give and take rules of conversation were observed as well.

Another thing that I found socially a little confounding was how much complaining is a part of the way people converse around here. A lot of the people that we met first had me very worried about how negative they seemed all the time, but later I realized that complaining was not personally directed at me, but instead a way of thinking out out loud what is happening, big or little, and how it affects them. Complaining is pragmatic for a Chicagoan, it is a way of organizing thoughts and sharing experiences. Complaining was also used as a conversation starter, a way to find common ground. Coming from Northern CA, where things are a lot more superficially "just fine", this took some getting used to.

I have loved each of these places dearly, and love each one for what they are. If anyone is reading this, what have you noticed as strange when you moved to a new city?

War Crimes and Criminal Negligence Charges for Bush

I am not happy about Nader getting back in the presidential race, but damn, I do respect him. Here is an excellent blog from Nader.org Read here.

I agree. The hypocrisy is amazing. Spitzer--loses his job. Bush, whose crimes are much worse and farther reaching, gets the same morally "indignant" democrats just waiting until he goes away? Like I said before, why go for impeachment when conviction is more in order? Democrats in Congress, take a real stand. Go after Bush and his administration. America is fed up. We won't get in your way.
Nader is voicing the thoughts of the thousands of hearts who are sickened by this illegitimate president. Dems, there are lots of reasons you should listen.

Resolution Check Up

I started this blog as an exercise and as part of a resolution to write more this year. My goal was to have at least one essay a week, preferably one that required some thought and something more than just blatherings about my day.

I am behind on the number, and I also find that I do not always have the time to do the sort of essay I really want to produce all the time--one that at least inspires thought in others. I have had mixed success with this. I have decided that this is okay. It has to be, or else I will start to intimidate myself into not writing, because it is not important enough. I don't live a life that is outstandingly important to anyone but my friends and family, but with development (aka actually writing) I think I can do better than I have been.

I think I will change my resolution, because it may be that volume is more likely to do something more to spark creativity than sitting around and thinking. From now on, I will try to write every day, and if it is essay material and good, great! If it isn't, oh well. Don't feel like you have to read it.

The unholy boredom of men's clothing

This afternoon I told my husband that I would go clothes shopping for him, since he liked a couple of the things I picked out for him last year on a whim. They were well made and looked ready for work casual or an evening out at a restaurant or show. His clothes are getting kind of old, and some of his shirts have been getting use for at least a decade.

I went to Woodfield Mall, and searched store after store. I even waded through the motley crowd of people waiting for autographs in the center of the mall from members of the World Wrestling Federation. I looked and looked and looked.

JC Pennys had shirts for men who had given up all hope. Not one pattern that was more interesting than thick vertical stripes. Low thread count polyester dominated. They might as well be pre-stained with the clammy sweat of fashion failure. This actually surprised me, because lately JCPenny has improved their womens clothing lines. I didn't even try Sears. Kohls is also a no go for anything but socks and underwear and the utter basics.

Limited Express Men's section was for some reason either dress shirts or t-shirts and nothing in between. I usually really like their stuff. Today though, they were living up to the "Limited" name.

One store that had some really cool shirts was going out of business and only had 2xxls left. I could fit 3 of Dan into one of them.

I was already discouraged. I still could have looked at Macys and Nordstrom or even H&M, but all the "shop" had dropped out of me. Too much of the same, same, same. I will have to finish my quest another day...when I am really, really desperate with nothing to do.

The cultural expectation for American men is that they hate to shop for clothes. Clothing retailers make sure that it stays that way with monotony and poor quality in their mens clothing lines.

Environmentally, this is probably a good thing. Economically, interesting men's clothing with high quality fabric and construction is one of the those curiously untapped areas of retail potential.

Dan will just have to keep his decades old threadbare shirts in his closet until one of us can stomach shopping again.

IMPEACH BUSH NOW!

I promised myself I would write this, since today is IMPEACH BUSH NOW! Day.

C'mon folks. It is time to really take more action. Let's give the guy who lied us into a costly and futile war, whose administration has ruined nearly all good will toward our nation by our allies, whose administration seems intent on raping the constitution of all meaning, and seems intent on destroying the environment for corporate gain, more than just a piddling 19 percent national approval rating (or 79% disapproval rating). If impeaching seems like too much effort for too little return--since he will be gone in less than a year anyway--let's move towards criminal prosecution instead. If we condone this administrations egregious actions, we condone future administrations the same. Laws have been broken, and even a president should not consider himself above the law.

PROSECUTE THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION NOW! WHY LET IT END WITH THE INCUMBENCY?

Here are more specific points for prosecution, outlined by democrats.com:

1) The Offense of Lying and Inducing America to Support a War

President Bush and Vice President Cheney intentionally misled the Congress and the American people regarding the threat from Iraq in order to justify a war against Iraq, and intentionally conspired with others to defraud the United States in connection with the war against Iraq in violation of Title 18 United States Code, Section 371.

2) The Offense of Reckless Indifference to the Lives and Welfare of American Troops

President Bush and Vice President Cheney failed to provide US soldiers with bulletproof vests or appropriately-armored vehicles and had no serious plan for the aftermath of the war, thus demonstrating a complete disregard for the welfare of the troops and the need for proper governance of a country after occupation. The result has been a never-ending war that will cost U.S. taxpayers over $1 trillion with over 3,000 U.S. soldiers killed and over 21,000 wounded.

3) The Offense of Torture in Violation of U.S. Laws and Treaties

President Bush and Vice President Cheney conspired to commit the torture of prisoners in violation of the "Federal Torture Act," Title 18 United States Code, Section 113C, the UN Torture Convention and the Geneva Convention.

4) The Offense of Wiretapping Surveillance in Defiance of the Law

President Bush and Vice President Cheney admitted to ordering the National Security Agency to conduct electronic surveillance of American civilians without seeking warrants from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court of Review, duly constituted by Congress in 1978, in violation of Title 50 United States Code, Section 1805.

These provisions are detailed in "The Impeachment of George W. Bush: A Practical Guide for Concerned Citizens," by former Rep. Elizabeth Holtzman.