I just received a call from Chuck Malspeis’ wife. They are in Costa Rica for their honeymoon, and Chuck drowned on Friday. I am sorry, I do not have any more details than that. She is still down in Costa Rica working with the US Embassy to get Chuck’s body returned to the United States. She believes that they will get that squared away most likely on Wednesday, which means they may have services this upcoming weekend. Hilary has flown out to Jacksonville to be with her Dad.
Chuck went snorkeling out on a beach with a ferocious rip tide and/or undertow. Costa Rica is infamous for this, and it's topography is such that even a rip tide can go on for miles, and exhaust even the best swimmer. They have had over 400 accidental drownings since 2008.
Both Dan and I have known Chuck since we were in high school. We had lost touch, but figured we would be able to reconnect eventually. One really shouldn't assume there is always time...
Dan and I decided that we would go to his memorial service in Jacksonville, FL. We were so glad we did. We met his wife, who was the love of his life, and we could see she was indeed a very special person, and exactly what Chuck needed. She also has a great family that adored him. We met his business partners, who were also in shock, because they also were family. He was the head of a start up company that is just about to get to the fun part and really take off due to his diligence, relationship building with clients and frugal management of their resources. We could be there to comfort and be with Hilary, his sister, who did an awesome job at his eulogy talking about her love for him and sang the Ohio State Alma Mater beautifully. It was possibly the saddest situation ever, except we know that Chuck truly was happy and having a great life.
A few other high school/college friends made it down, and it was a bittersweet reunion. It was so good to see them. The connections from those early friendships just don't die. It was good to hang out with them, but we all would have preferred a different reason for the reunion. I love these people--they are precious to me. I wish more of our gang could have made it, but notice was very short so they could only be there in spirit.
Wondering about what Chuck was like, and what made him special? Here is is obituary, which was very nicely written but can only say so much. What made him special to me? Well, here are some of my memories from high school onward:
I met Chuck on the forensics team. Chuck always made speech tournaments fun. I had such a fun time attempting directing him and his duo partners in the acting event, dramatic duo. It was usually a lot of laughter, and goofing around with the material. Even "The Odd Couple" became highly experimental theatre.
Hardly any of us made it to final rounds while Chuck was on the speech team. Our speech coach just didn’t really care about coaching, and we rarely knew what we were doing. We had a good-natured girl named Nadia who was smart enough that she would regularly make it to out rounds in debate and get recognized at the awards ceremonies. Chuck, (with his tie around his head by this time) would stand up and shout, “Go, Nads!” and completely embarrass Nadia, even though just about nobody knew the word, “gonads.”
He didn’t respect authority, but wasn’t actually ever much in trouble either. He did run for class president with a potato as his running mate for vice president. They couldn’t stop him, there wasn’t a rule against it. He didn’t win, but he made a great story. Mr. Spud rotted on his dashboard for months.
Chuck was always a good listener. He could always make you laugh at your situation or your absurdity. He made me realize what a lot of fun using my quick wit to make him laugh could be. He loved a great joke, or a really obscure one.
He would give people rides in his junker of a car in high school, but you had to chart the course home with as few right turns as possible because the right side would rooster tail sparks on a right turn.
Dan remembers the empty holes where speakers would be that they threw fast food wrappers into until they couldn’t fit in anymore. It was almost a whole trunk’s worth, but for a long time he couldn't open the trunk. Once he could, they moved all the wrappers and boxes to Russ's locker.
In college:
Chuck started collecting 1966 and 1965 red mustangs. Rides were fun, but they had no seatbelts, and the fumes came through the back seat from the exhaust system. They were broken into way too many times on campus, even though there was nothing inside of them to warrant it.
Chuck was my next door neighbor for my junior and senior year. He was always happy to have me visit, even if sometimes I bored him to pieces with my ranting at a bad breakup or my general cluelessness. He stayed friends with everyone.
He was a great neighbor. A lot better one than I was.
He had a guitar, but I never heard him play. Apparently, he got over his shyness and became quite a musician.
He made his first entrepeneurial endeavor in polymers with plastic fake coffee poured out of paper cups. I don’t think much came of that, but those cups were all over the apartment, like a coffee shop for slobs that really liked only half a cup of café au lait.
He was an exemplary groomsman at our wedding.
Chuck is remembered by me as a friend who was kind, gentle, devastatingly intelligent, humble, quick witted, empathetic, humorous, precious and unique.
The news of his accident shocked and greatly saddened both Dan and I. He will be so missed. We love Chuck.
