Poor Neglected Blog....

I have a reasons for neglecting you.

I am lazy.

I have been busy.

I have been out of the country, and didn't bring a computer.

The third reason only excuses about 10 days. It was a great 10 days though.

We were in England and Wales, and saw all sorts of cool stuff:
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Sorry for neglecting you. I will try to keep up from now on.

It couldn't have been said better...

Jon Stewart, the most trusted name in "news", explains why Fox News is not a news station, even by Fox's own admission:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
For Fox Sake!
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Creativity Requires Time

After spending most of this year at a steady, pleasant, but rather dull job, I have been let go; the project I was on was coming to an end, and I had already decided that this was not the company I felt was going to lead me on a fulfilling career path. The little company is struggling, and I basically presented myself to be the first to be let go. Because my spouse is gainfully employed, and I still have a couple of part time gigs, this won't impact us much.

I am aware of how blessed I am. I feel very fortunate.

Since this has happened, I have had a burst of creative output that has been sitting fallow in my mind for months. Writing sketches and one acts, composing songs, and making artwork. I just didn't have time to do it while working, raising a family, etc.

Funny how this new underemployment didn't doing anything for my housework or workout schedule, and so far, not for my blogging...

So we didn't get the 2016 Olympics

Though I was hoping we wouldn't get the Olympics, I was a little stung by Chicago getting 4th place in the IOC voting. This is my adopted city, after all. I know how great it is. This is not a 4th place city!

I was not disappointed though, that Rio de Janiero got the bid--I was hoping they would get it--South America deserves its turn, and the Olympics could be even more exciting in such a beautiful and exotic locale. It will also bring more attention to Brazil, full or rain forests and natural beauty and rare resources, as well as provide an incentive to improve its impoverished urban areas.

Chicago deserved to be in the top four,but getting yet another Olympics in the USA after Salt Lake City and Atlanta seems excessive. I have a feeling I know why we got the dreaded 4th place. Bloc voting. Madrid or Tokyo seemed like the bottom rungers, but then some old guy from Spain who used to be head of the IOC made a plea, and politically, the European voters had to help him save face. Tokyo seemed likely as well for the embarrassing #4 spot, since we just had the Olympics in relatively nearby Beijing. The Asian IOC members gave it good numbers so it was not shamed. For the IOC members from the Americas, it was split. Rio de Janiero got the majority of the votes, and there weren't enough left to save face for Chicago. Not a lot of bleed from any other side towards Chicago, because they take care of their own, and the USA hasn't been exactly cuddly to deal with in the past 8 years. It is silly and political, but basically, I bet that was basically how it went.


You may wonder why I was ambivalent about our bid. On a personal level, I love the romance of being the host city. However, I could see it being a huge inconvenience in construction delays, higher taxes and humongous commute times. For the city, I didn't trust the Daley machine to be able to control itself and not go crazy in corruption and graft. We tax payers were not off the hook for outrageous cost overruns or other issues. The burden of change would be to the south side of Chicago, and the communities there are already stressed with rampant gang violence and poverty related crime. Having the Olympics in Chicago was going to be a major strain for the area fiscally and on our quality of life, with no real guarantee of jobs.

I admire the Obamas for making the effort to go out and make the pitch for an American city--their American city. It was a pro-American thing to do, and the gloating on the part of the GOP pretending that this was a defeat for Obama once again makes them look puerile and insipid. The Olympic bid was not his to lose--it was Chicago's to lose. This just wasn't our time.

Because it makes me happy..

This is posted everywhere, but I love it to pieces. I love this baby dance video. It reminds me of the dance moves my kids used to put on. This is the full version, really the first minute or so is the best. Ah, diaper butts!

Manners are Important-They Show Who You Are

The behavior of the Republicans in Congress was reprehensible last night. Twittering, texting, and then Joe Wilson, the congressperson from South Carolina, shouting "You Lie!" at the President. They did a "silent protest" holding up about 10 pieces of paper saying, "What bill?"

The thing is--these are grown men, who are somehow thinking that acting like petulant middle schoolers is going to make them look mega-cool to their constituents.

I hope that we can all school them on the fact that----MANNERS MATTER. In a civil society, if you don't have manners and use them, no one can take you seriously.

Being so boldly rude and openly contemptuous to the President of the United States during his address is taken as a poor reflection on you, GOP, and no one else. Most citizens do not take kindly to your blatant disrespect to the office of President.

The people of South Carolina already have to deal with "It's all about ME and my penis" Sanford as governor, and now they have to enjoy being associated with a guy who goes to congress to audition for the Jerry Springer show. Even in South Carolina, there are people who take being civil seriously, and will question strongly his fitness for the office. I also hope the military goes after him, since his behavior as an officer in the National Guard makes contemptuous behavior to a superior a punishable offense.

I will hope that the congresspeople who were Twittering and texting will also be getting an earful from their constituents. We have to let these regressed adolescents know what is not acceptable behavior.

Random insomniac thoughts

I am more than disturbed by the amped-up hate rhetoric from the Fox "News" Network.

Sure, it gets ratings, revving up the right wing leaning folks, enraging the left wing leaning folks. It endlessly gets called out for lies, fabrications, racially inflammatory hate speech and plain craziness by the highly popular "Daily Show with Jon Stewart."

The "Tea Parties" that were sponsored and promoted by the Fox Commentary Network where covered as if they were news and not a sponsored event. Not as well attended as they hoped, but a great organizing tool for the reactionary folks.

Then, people were encouraged to act like Jerry Springer show wannabes at town hall meetings in order to get coverage and get on TV. Fox promised to cover it, and nothing else, and followed up with that. Shouting down and intimidating people with real concerns and questions was also encouraged. No First Amendment rights for anyone, but a great spectical!

Now there may be no public option to health care reform, taking care of some of the folks who have no care--like the idiot who tried to take up a collection for his medical bills after getting into a fight with someone at a town hall meeting because he was unemployed.

Beck and Hannity really seem to be digging this attention, but they have a tiger by the tail. There is a huge difference between catering to the lowest denominator for ratings and sound bites, and irresponsibly inciting them to violence, hatred, and crazy action.

The tabloid web site for Fox called "Fox Nation" goes all the way to crazytown and is commented on by some of the most vile and sick people who seem to be ready to go do civil war. They have their guns locked and loaded. They are ready to create one hell of a Fox News sponsored homegrown terror event.

Is it no wonder that I consider FOX the leading threat to our democracy?

Living with temporary slight disability

Earlier this summer, I thought I pulled a muscle in my back while weeding. However, it didn't go away.

I thought it may be an alignment issue, and since I had a good experience with the chiropractic school in Lombard, I decided to give the chiropractor/physical therapy unit of my medical group a try. He is a professor at the school, as well as being a naparopath and acupuncturist and a medical doctor.

He gave me the bad news that he thought I had a herniated disc. An MRI confirmed that a had a pretty significant one.

So, a couple weeks ago, I started chiropractic treatment. At first I was amazed--I didn't need to take any pain killers any more after just 2 treatments. I started to feel very optimistic. I was on my 5th treatment when I went to go work out afterward and the next day something was different.

I don't think I was crazy or anything, but I was getting more of my usual movement back and feeling like I could do a light non-weight bearing exercise, like use the stationary bike. I did a great half hour on it. Felt great.

But now I have a shooting pain down my leg. I have sciatica. It sucks!

Movement is improving, but the pinch is quite aggravating, and I am back on ibuprophen.

It is better today than it was before a weekend of rest, but I am getting impatient and a little self pitying. This is the best running summer ever here in the Chicago area, and I can't run even a little bit.

Mostly, I am concerned with my lack of physical activity. I had planned on running the Chicago Marathon, and getting really buff. Instead, I am barely doing more than walking around and I am starting to look like a doughy "before" picture.

I realize that I don't really have it that bad, other people have it worse. I just want to get back to feeling good again, and this is putting a huge crimp in my lifestyle.

I just thought I would share these. Paul Thomas went through the Second City Conservatory with me many years ago. and he is one of the funniest writers I know. The song "Tighty Whiteys" debuted during the Conservatory years, and the "Questionable Beef " song is performed with his band, "Lola Balatro." Musically sound and catchy, these odes are to common things made zany and hilarious.

Short notes

I was expecting the Michael Jackson Memorial Service to be completely L.A. (false, crass, and smarmy) but somebody engineered a little taste into it. Still, I wished that someone had been caring for him better so that this did not have to happen. He was a gifted, odd and needy person, but the people around him only cared what he could do for them. Fifty concert performances from a guy in fragile health who was over 50...someone wanted him to go crazy or die trying...

Sarah Palin. Ah, so much has been written. What else can I say? Buh bye? Go away?

I pulled a gluteus medius muscle a few weeks ago weeding the garden, and it isn't healing as fast as I would like. We are having some of the best running outside weather, and I can only walk or use the extremely boring elliptical machine. What a pain in the ass.

Today is an important day--Twenty years ago, my husband and I tied the knot. I am not making a big deal out of it for some familial reasons, and also because I don't feel like I am old enough to have been married that long. It has been really a happy time. Dan is the best, and if I could clone him and hand him out to all my single friends, I would make them all happy too.

In Other News...

...Last weekend's show went just fine, and my early onset dementia seems to have been cured by antibiotics and the renewed ability to breathe.

...I am shocked and saddened by Michael Jackson's death, because his music was in the background of my life for most of my teen and college years. I never had to buy his albums because all I had to do was turn on the radio and one of his songs would come up within a few minutes. His life seems so terribly sad. RIP Michael.

...I feel sad for Farrah Fawcett too, but she had given it the good fight, and also wish her well in the afterward.

...What, now Karl Malden? Well, he was 97. That is a pretty good old age. I hope he was ready to move along as well.

...Closer to home, my friend Jesus's mom passed away after a 7 month fight with brain cancer. For him it is sadness, but also relief, because it is no fun to watch someone suffer so much, and just have to wait for the inevitable. I hope she is exploring whatever it is that comes next, and that he gets to have some freedom from worry and strife. Grief will be natural, but so is feeling unburdened and lightened to a certain extent. RIP Chuy's mama.

To get away from death, this weekend we have a celebration of the birth of our country, so make the most of it! It's not perfect, and we are still some of the most ornery cussed people around, but we have a new beginning this year, and time will tell how it all goes. Have faith, and try to keep from dying so we can all see how it turns out.

A little bit of actor hell...

This weekend, we opened "Bounty of Lace" a very nice new play at the Lincoln Square Theatre in Chicago. I play "Geula" who is this wonderfully complex character in a play about Israeli women dealing with life, loss and choices.

The director is a young guy who is personally going through the seven circles of hell right now in his personal life--I won't go into it, but trust me, it would be really hard to be him right now and be able to cohesively put sentences together, let alone direct a show. But he did, and it was difficult, but we all worked together and got the play going where it needs to go.


So, last night, Sunday, was opening night. Here is where my little bit of hell came in--

I have been having a lot of coughing lately, left over from a cold a few weeks ago, and on Saturday it started to become something more than just a cough. My chest hurts. I am so freaking tired. And I can't often get a full breath.

This play was very hard for all of us to memorize, but for some reason, me most of all. I fear early onset dementia. My husband, going over the lines with me, noted that my character is not consistent in phrasing, and sometimes sounds like a native Israeli speaker and sometimes is very American sounding. This could be because she lived in America for a while, but the upshot is, it makes it difficult to memorize, especially with potential early onset dementia. And Geula talks a lot. In fact, she starts the show with a 6 minute monologue.

Before the show, I was terrified I would cough uncontrollably or wheeze or faint during the show. I was also feeling lethargy and chills. So, since I have no understudy, I took all the meds I could safely mix together without getting the shakes. I got them anyway, but I wasn't coughing and I could breathe.

I had my first bout with stage fright just before I went on. I breathed and reminded myself my heart was racing because of the sudafed and albuterol, not fear. I got out on stage and actually felt pretty good. I clipped through the monologue, going fine, then I got to the very last phrase of it, and blanked. Hard. Time slowed down. I stood there like a deer in the headlights. A halo of dark surrounded my vision. An eternity passed before someone dimmed the lights and the actress playing my daughter went up, as she should have once I finished the phrase, that I could not remember to save my life.

Talk about feeling stupid and humiliated.

The rest of the show went fine. In fact, people seemed to really enjoy it, and Dan, who is my audience safety blanket, was actually very flattering in what he had to say and said that it looked like a missed light cue to him.

It wasn't a missed light cue. It was a worm hole in time that went right through the memory centers of my brain, and the whole cast and crew knew it. Humiliating.

Little did I know there was a reviewer there. Once I found out, I felt even worse. However, this is all they had to say:

New Review (Theater and Comedy)

Bounty of Lace

Through 7/18: check with theater for repertory schedule,
312-458-9170
Theater & Performance

The most intriguing character in Susan Merson's drama is Guela, a weary Israeli mother and walking tangle of contradictions. At once adopting the yoke of tradition and chafing against it, she's envious, resentful, and proud of her independent-minded stepdaughter, whose affair with a Palestinian man has left her pregnant. The conflict between these two has promise, but Merson dilutes it by introducing two ancillary female characters--a goofy American ex-pat and a wise Ethiopian university professor--presumably meant to show a wider cross-section of women and the choices open to them. The effect, though, is an intrusion that bars us from fully delving into Guela's conflicted emotions. Jesus Contreras's production has a few nice, quiet moments, but too often the cast opts for yuks and bustle. Part of the Alcyone Festival. --Zac Thompson $10-$20, festival pass $50

To be fair, the show will probably not be as tending towards "yuks and bustle" in subsequent performances. Because of the place in his life that the director is in, at first he was directing the show to a very dour and loveless and dark place--once the artistic directors had a look at it, and had the playwright talk to him about where she saw the characters, we had to do a complete 180 degrees in a lot of ways in the space of a week. It could be that we swung a little too far the other way. I am sure that it will settle down by the next performance.

And save me, oh save me from any other wormholes in time...

Ohhhh, drama

Well, I seem to have blown my resolution to blog twice a week all to hell lately.

What I have found is that something had to go, and this was not really on anyone's compass besides my own as a must-do. Once things calm down, I should be able to go full speed ahead again.

Starting back to work full time and deciding (wrongly) that doing a new play in a new play festival with only 4 performances would be less time intensive than a full run (not in rehearsal!) while still being somewhat present for my family is just a lot to do. Blogs forgive. I barely have any readers. They probably will forgive too. (Thanks Mom and Dad.)

For information on the Alcyone New Play Festival check it out at www.halycontheatre.org
I am in "Bounty of Lace," which at the moment I cannot be sure if it is recommendable--we will see after this rehearsal.

Today I left work early because I was just too tired to be able to keep going from work to a six hour rehearsal. I would have ruined rehearsal because the first thing to go is my memory--and my character talks and talks and talks. Friday afternoons are usually a bust anyway at regular work. I am still hourly until the end of the month, so I think actually I am saving my employer money. I had a little rest that was sort of like sleeping, and I feel a bit more refreshed and less like a danger to the public when I get back behind the wheel.

So, my few readers, I will be back once I have some more time. I am sure you are waiting with bated breath.

Some suggestions for Thriving in a Cubicle Environment

I was thinking lately about how some office situations can be really decent, where others are like running a cheese grater over your brain day after day. The jobs may be similar, but one makes you dread going, and one makes you look forward to going to work.

Here is what has made working in an office fantastic for me, and should be strived for in all offices:

No-drama bosses. They are the best. Crazy people should never be bosses. I am working for some really cool people right now who are all business and no drama. I can't stress enough how great this is for my office morale and how much more I want to do well for them.

Office friendships and a culture of non-gossip amongst co-workers. Office gossip can be such a killer of joy in going to work. I have avoided getting to know people who even seem like they are gossipy, because it so often turns negative and cruel and someone ends up crying in the bathroom. I prefer it isn't me.

Laughter. Offices where people are encouraged be creative about making each other laugh make work much more enjoyable, and fosters a feeling of creative expression which just might lead to the next big idea. Pass that joke around, post a silly picture for everyone to caption. Make it a contest, make some area of the office fun, like in the break room, or by the coffee machine.
Creating a new Lettermanesque Top Ten list every week from suggestions posted by the coffee machine is also a lot of fun. If people are up for it, start brainstorming sessions with improv games and listening exercises.


This is my wish list for making working in a cubicle situation even less trying;

I would like an option to put a stationary bicycle in the cube for powering all my computer equipment in a manner that makes me motivated to exercise and less in need of walking around every hour or so in order to keep blood from pooling in my butt and legs. It's green, I really think that I would be more productive with this set up, and svelter too.

It would be really nice to have, in an office where no one is allergic, some office cats to lounge around and do cat things like sleeping and purring and occasionally providing some distractions by just being furry, gorgeous, and in need of petting. This will lead to folks being less stressed and less focused on only their own selves.

Vending machines should be outlawed, or only stocked with things that one would only eat if truly hungry, like packets of oatmeal, plain veggies and fruit. No dip.

Coffee makers should be self cleaning, so it isn't left to chance if someone will get grossed out before the coffee turns out terminally skunky and the machine corrodes.

A nap room for 10 minute naps after eating lunch when needed.

Mac environment. PC sucks. Just sayin',

Kooks and Teabags and Fox, oh my.

If anyone is in doubt that the "Tea Party" stuff going on tomorrow is not a totally Fox News manufactured event, take a look at any other news outlet and notice the lack of 'coverage.' On Fox, they are calling for a 'grass roots' uprising, with celebrities, about every 3 minutes if not more. Everywhere else--crickets. Actual news items.

I certainly hope that no Timothy McVeigh types don't take it into their minds to do something to hurt others tomorrow in the name of protesting "the obamanation." I also hope that in the best possible way, the teabaggers just get to have their protests and everyone else just ignores them or makes fun of them without being belligerent.

I will probably just go about my boring job, and read about it later. I don't get into "news" organizations organizing crazy people for manufactured "historical" anti-intellectual corporate driven protests.

One thing I can breathe easy about now Fox "News" has started up FoxNation.com were the articles and blogging are a strident and whiny slant to the far right wing of crazy.

My fascination with people I have absolutely no political commonality with is insatiable. It boarders on unhealthy, but I am not trolling the sites, no. I respectfully read and ponder what would have to happen to a person to believe some of the tripe I have read. Some of the conservative thinking is sound, and I agree with a lot of things, especially fiscally (pre-Bush II), though I don't think anyone has it right when it comes to fixing what 8 years of the Bush administration and rampant greed of financial institutions has wrought. I don't have any answers either, so I hope the Obama administration has it mostly right because I don't know what should happen.

It is easy to try to anthropomorphize the giant US Economy--it needs to stop spending and cutting down on its expenses, tighten its belt, stop spending borrowed money. Tear up its credit cards. Stop buying expensive shoes and make do with last year's wardrobe. Spend more time at home, live simpler.

But the US government is responsible for the livelihoods of an entire global village, and if it does not spend money close to what it was, people suffer and shops close down. And that effects all the villages around it. There are things that only it can provide, because it is the richest guy in town.

It is all very weird to me. I can't begin to think I know any answer.

Animal Magnetism = Clean Energy

According to Yahoo News, this may be why my garden hasn't had any animal pests; those huge powerlines in the easement behind the house is screwing them up:

High-voltage power lines mess with animal magnetism. Researchers, who reported last year that most cows and deer tend to orient themselves in a north-south alignment, have now found that power lines can disorient the animals.

When the power lines run east-west, that's the way grazing cattle tend to line up, researchers led by Hynek Burda and Sabine Begall of the faculty of biology at the University of Duisburg-Essen in Germany report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

They also found that cows and deer grazing under northeast-southwest or northwest-southeast power lines faced in random directions.

The research team studied cows and deer using satellite and aerial images.

In their report last August, Burda and colleagues suggested the north-south orientation was in response to the Earth's magnetic field.

The new study adds weight to the animals responding to magnetic effects, since power lines also produce a magnetic field. And the effect was most noticeable close to the power lines, declining as the magnetic field of the electric lines was reduced by distance.

Wind and weather can also affect which ways cows choose to face, but without such factors about two-thirds of them tended to align north-south when away from power lines.

The Earth's magnetic field is thought to be a factor in how birds navigate, and other animals also are believed to respond to it.

My garden runs east-west, as do the giant power lines. Rabbits hop around in my garden all the time, but don't touch my vegetables in any appreciable manner. They usually hang out with me when I am weeding and eat the weeds. They are completely happy and companionable. It could be that the power lines have created demented rabbits? I will take it.

I sent this article to my husband, and he had another wild idea. Leave it to the engineer.

I see a buttered cat array topper in this story.

(This was a psuedo science idea that tickled me in Omni Magazine in the 80s. The theory goes, all cats land on their feet. Buttered bread always lands butter side down. If you strap buttered toast to the backs of cats butter side up and drop them, they will not land but instead hover and rotate, and we can harness the power they expend like turbines. Back to the husband:

I'd call it the Lazy Susan Cow Grid. Put a bunch of cows on giant lazy susans under power lines that run both north-south and east west. Alternate the power to
the two sets of lines, causing the cows to turn to realign, causing the
lazy susans to turn, powering generators, which power the overhead
lines. I'd also put in a Dizzy Cow Station next door, where the cows
would go after an hour on the grid. That would just contain the lazy
susans with no overhead lines, where the dizzy cows would keep spinning
in circles for about an hour until their brains readjust.

Perhaps he has something there. We should go for some grant money. That guy is full of ideas.

News Briefs - How I get the news now, briefly

Rush Limbaugh is not news. I don't want to hear about him anymore. Enjoy your obnoxious little Mr. Potato Head, Spudlettes. He is a distraction, and I don't want to be distracted. Actually, isn't that the problem with the GOP leadership right now? Too many people want to be Zaphod Beeblebrox, no one actually wants to lead.

Jon Stewart's lambasting of the Cramer-dude from the visually unwatchable show, "Mad Money"(CNBC) was sort of weird. Sure, Cramer is a douchebag and gave awful advice, but he isn't the cause of the whole meltdown, or even the worst of soft headed, disingenuous "newspeople" that work with CNBC. Cramer was so contrite, I was worried he was going to start crying.

The thing is, to a certain extent, ALL the networks are far more concerned with appeasing their advertisers than anything else, including reporting truthfully and to the best of their abilities. All network programming caters to either pleasing the eyeballs of their watchers, or scaring the hell out of them so they stay focused through the commercial breaks.

A better paradigm would be to have a news source that is beholden to no one for monetary support. Kind of like public radio or public television, yeah. Except with less begging and pledge drives.

The Sears Tower will now be the Willis Tower. Already known better now as the "Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis" Tower. Brilliant. Gives me all sorts of hope for the Willis Insurance Company moving in there from the UK. Apparently, they insure kooky hijinks and teachable moments.

A bit of a Dash

Now I am in the working world, I have even less time to think up bloggy things. I apologize.

Change can be Good

First and foremost, I must report that, much to my consternation, I (aka my fake identity) have been banned from TeamSarah.org. If you can't march in lock step with their "values" (which don't include free speech, apparently) you can't be on their site. I wasn't rude, just not agreeing with some people who cannot see reason. That was enough.

I know. I know. Where will I get my dose of illiterate conservatives blogging with sooo many spelling and grammatical errors? The hypocrisy of pro-lifers against regular birth control who revile low income parents who can't support their children? Where will I be able to stay updated on the latest on rumors that must be true because it was on the internets? I guess I will have to just watch Elizabeth Hasselback on The View.

I think I got dinged because I couldn't support worshipping Rush Limbaugh as King of the Conservatives. And I wouldn't apologize.

Well, I guess I will have to make do. It will make jumping over to the Huffington Post a little less like jumping into a cool freshwater spring after a hot miserable day, but that will be okay.

//////

I started back to full time employment in sales as of late last week. It is weird to go so easily back after spending so much time freelancing and full time mommying. It's an adjustment, but so far not so bad. Luckily, it's with some really decent co-workers and bosses who seem pretty drama free, logical and reasonable, so that makes it easier.

The only problem is pretty normal--which is, you have to go prospecting for clients before you can do any selling. This is the really tedious part of the process. Completely necessary, but oh, I hope to move out of this stage soon. The only way out is to do a lot of calling and networking. Anyone reading this need to plan a business meeting and are looking for some pretty awesome destinations and properties? Shoot me a note! Hotels have some mighty sweet deals going on....

My husband has had the opportunity to work part of the day at home lately, so he is there for the kids after school. They are not used to him standing around and asking them how their day went. I am not sure why this is freaking them out a little. I think they were hoping for unsupervised, unlimited video gaming time.

Overall, we are having some change going on in our lives, but change is good.

Another Wednesday Random

Yep, it's time for another Wednesday Random, since I am not satisfied with any of the essays I am constructing. I promised myself to be consistently posting, and I keep my promises.

•I hate to sound like I take sides,(snork, um yeah) but the difference between Obama and the GOP's "wonderkind" Bobby Jindal last night was pretty stark. Obama did what he needed to do, which was inspire the country while reminding us that it is going to take a new responsibility and some sacrifice. Jindal was dead-eyed and sing-songy reading the teleprompter (he should really take more lessons on how not to do that) basically saying that "government is bad, and I got folksy stories."

•And alright, I'll admit it. I peeked in last night on my favorite right wing nut web site, Teamsarah.org. The site has been pretty quiet except for the most extreme misspelling ALL CAPS typers. "Sarah Palin is our Esther" worship has been pretty muted lately, but there are still lots of tirades about Obama the Hitler and Obama the Antichrist. Some people are STILL writing daily about Obama's birth certificate, and William Ayers. Also, the latest boycott is Kohls because Ashley Judd is a spokesperson for their makeup line, and she said something mean about Sarah Palin's approval of hunting wolves from helicopters. Last night, even the most rabid right winger was only charitable towards Jindal. It could be because of his skin color though. They don't like dark people on TeamSarah.

•I start a new job tomorrow! I am excited about it, but also apprehensive. I haven't been a full time employee of someone else for many years. However, I worry about is still having quality time with my boys, which has been my main priority since I became the at-home parent so many years ago. They are pretty big now, though, so I can't really say they need me here all the time. This time I probably won't feel the crushing Mommy Guilt I felt when I was working full time when my oldest was a baby.

•On the personal front, all is calm, except my face. I am splurging on a fraxel laser resurfacing of areas of my face that have been marred with acne scars and melasma. Frivolous, maybe, but I am hoping for an excellent result. I did the first session of 3 on Monday, and today I look like I am in the throes of healing from a sunburn. In a few days I will see if there is some improvement already as I heal.

News Didn't Scare Me this Time

The front scream page of Yahoo News this morning proclaims that the US Standard of Living is going to permanently decline because of this recession. Credit is going to become harder to come by and wages will be lower, and prices may be lowering permanently as well. It was set up to look alarming, because if it isn't scary looking, it isn't news. On average though, this may be not such a bad thing, but an adjustment that has been way overdue.

I live by the credo that if you can't afford it right now with the money you have, you don't buy it. If you don't need it, don't buy it. My husband is the same way and I am sure we have avoided a lot of stress with the shared philosophy.

There is a difference between living in a culture of consumption and culture of satisfying needs. Americans have nearly bankrupted themselves as a nation not understanding the difference. Now, we will have to pay for that willful stupidity, and companies and people who tried to live beyond their means are learning some painful lessons on what it's like to live in true need, or maybe even desperate need. Companies may cease to exist, people will get distressed and adjust to survive differently.

Anyone who knows me or has read this blog with any regularity knows that I am not a fan of overconsumerism. It rapes the planet and no one is happier with all that "stuff." The Bush Administration encouraged it after 9/11 since it was distracting and it hyperinflated the economic numbers, but it also fostered greed, selfishness and flagrant irresponsibility. Even within his own administration, Bush took it to the nth level by unprecedented government growth and wasteful spending off borrowed money. Any republican or right wing commentator complaining about the present stimulus plan being "unprecedented governmnent spending" need only look back at the past 8 years and stick that in their maws and block their damn windpipes.

My concern is for those who were already close to the edge. People who through limited education, poor circumstances, age or bad health gave up on anything but the bare necessities even in boom times. These are the people I worry about most. These are the people that we as a society need to take care of and not, as some right wing nut jobs keep trying to do, blame them and tell them they had it coming to them. (Don't even get me started on the hypocrisy of pro-life/revilement of single parents who can't support their kids.)

I come from the perspective of someone fairly blessed--we haven't had any job losses in our immediate family, our health is good, and because we are naturally frugal, we aren't worried about bills because we've never overspent.

But as a nation, priorities have been out of whack, and now it is going to take a long time to adjust. I hope that the stimulus package, though it is also borrowed money will be a good move, and be used as a safety net and job stimulus and not just a way to keep the illusion of things being the same as they were. We do need to change our "standard of living" to be less consuming of the world's resources and more understanding of what is important to a society. We have to pay back what is owed, and it will take sacrifice over a long period of time by the whole nation. There is no way around it. It isn't a bad thing to take responsibility and accept sacrifice for our actions as a nation.

It sure beats the hell out of pointing fingers, blaming, and pretending everything is fine as long as we keep shopping.

Wednesday Random

Today is Wednesday Random. Included today is useless blather and pictures and a bit of a piano recital.

We can see the ground, thanks to a February warm up. Now it is muddy and gloppy, but by gosh, I can start imagining things growing in the swampy garden, and it makes me happy. I am starting some seedlings today of winter lettuce and whatever else strikes my fancy from the seed box. However, I will have them under grow lights and in the window for now. Temps in the 60s for one day can't fool me.

My high school speech team had Regionals for speech last weekend, and we managed to get 5 events to Sectionals this weekend, and Performance in the Round as well. Our Sectional is devilishly hard, probably harder than State. It would be cool to get one of them at least to State, but this year it is all the way down near the bottom of Illinois, so I am not sure how much we are hoping for it. Darn long trip.

I think on hold music should just be some rockin' radio station, not muzak. Yesterday at work I was put on hold with a very awesome music station, and it made me actually enjoy being on hold.

Children should be allowed to read whatever they want, even if their reading level testing indicates they should be reading harder books. My older son avoids reading for pleasure because when he was younger, he somehow tested into the 9th grade reading level and his teacher took this as gospel. There were very few books in his reading level in the school library, and the ones that were had content entirely over the head for the mind of an immature 8 year old, no matter how big his vocabulary. Even Harry Potter was considered off limits because it was in a lower lexile. It was rigid and educationally criminal, and it took a long time for him to have any joy in reading.

Sometimes, teachers are dumber than rocks.


Here is another striped scarf. It will be a gift to my friend Melody.

My kids did a piano recital last weekend. It was entertaining overall, even with over 40 performers showing their pieces. Here is the video (just the most important two performers):

A little party was had

The funny thing about this little blog is that people who read it call me up and talk about it instead of leaving a little comment. Good thing I don't have an ego...snork.

Anyway, I got to go out last night with some of my fellow speech coaches after a long tournament day and a long meeting afterwards to decide the last few entries on our regional team. I had a very fun time. I went off my usual beer-only rule and tried a shot of a delicious drink I think I will order more often--the Dirty Girl Scout. It is made with creme de menthe, coffee liquor, chocolate liquor and vodka. Delicious, just like a thin mint. Dangerous! I also got buffalo wings, which happens about twice a year. As usual, everyone else could comparatively drink me under the table, so I saw lots of other intiguing foo foo drinks as well. Most of the other coaches are female, and this is not my usual drinking crowd. Usually if I go out it is with improvisers, who are usually male and ordering PBRs. ( I haven't improvised for almost a year, so now you know how long it has been since I have been out.)

We stayed out talking long enough that I didn't have to fear for my sobriety, which meant hours of talking. I don't drive unless I feel 100% fine. The talking and laughing was the best part.

Today I feel a little more human, a little happier, and a little more optimistic. I had a little party. I may get through the winter yet.

SAD Sufferer Needs a Party

(Cue the dirge music)

After the high of the Obama Inauguration, there is presently nothing to look forward to for a while. I have a birthday in March, but February is one of those months that one just has to endure. Valentine's Day and President's Day don't count for much but candy and furniture sales, and I don't need either of them.

This winter has been closer to the winters of my youth. Winters of my younger years were dark and bitter. They were cold too.

When I was a kid in Ohio, we had winters that were unreasonably cold and had such deep snow we didn't see the ground for literally months. One year, in the last week of February, I went outside and dug in the snow in the back yard. I couldn't stand being stuck inside the house anymore, and I was frustrated with my family, starting the shift to pubescence, and just plain feeling SAD without knowing what it was. I dug and dug and finally could reach down a whole arm length and STILL could not find ground. I started to cry, and then I started to shriek, and then I started pummeling the snow. I kept digging and pummeling, and finally found the ground in a hole that, had I stood in it, would have come up near to my waist. Instead, I just bent over into it and cried my eyes out as I finally touched the frozen grass.

I'm not screaming into snowholes yet. However, it isn't February for a few more days. Right now I just feel more "meh" than usual.

Maybe I need to sit on the back patio in a bikini on a sunny day with a space heater or three, a pitcher of lemonade and a stack of seed catalogs. Oi. What a picture. My albedo is stunning.

I have decided that I want a party. I want a February party now. It must be bright, it must involve summer activities, and it must involve friends. I will do this! Who wants in? I will go shrieking into the tundra in a few weeks...

WOOOT! OBAMA! OBAMA!

I watched the inauguration with tears in my eyes with hope and happiness and resolve in my heart.
The inauguration had a very tasteful set of music (with my friend Ira Carrol's son playing clarinet in the quartet with Itzak Perlman and Yo Yo Ma!) and nice invocation and a lovely benediction that overshadowed the American Poet in its lyricism.

As much as I will always kick myself for not getting to Grant Park on Election Day, I am content to just have a little party in my heart here in Chicago, and an All-American meal of Chicago Dogs for lunch. I don't like traffic snarls, and fancy dressing in the middle of winter makes me cold.

Good Luck and God Bless our NEW PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!

Wednesday Random

• Feeling a little nostalgic for the Bush Administration already? Here is a lovely retrospective of the Bush years compiled by the Harper's Weekly that will put it all into perspective. It gives an alarming picture of how much the incoming administration has to work to undo the damage. I wish Obama the best of good fortune and my full and heartfelt support.

• I live in Ch-ch-chi-Chicago and it is c-c-c-old. Windchills of 40 degrees below zero tonight. How cold is it? My 13 year old actually wore a hat and scarf and gloves today and zipped up his coat!
  

• I have been taking a stage movement class the past couple of weeks, focusing on movement for plays in the Restoration and Georgian periods. It's fascinating, because I have always just guessed my way through period pieces, imitating what I saw in movies and on stage. It's been fun to find out the whys and wherefores of what was appropriate behavior for the aristocracy at that time--and plays written in that time period are almost exclusively about the aristocracy since they were the only ones that "mattered." The most interesting fun fact that I learned--because of the styles in that time period, when women sat down they splayed their legs wide open! This was to show off the skirts underneath the over skirts. It's disconcerting to be so slow moving, upright, showy and refined, and then sit down like a dainty trucker.

• And finally, may I put in a good word for the Public Library? Aside from when I lived in California, I have always been blessed with excellent public libraries in the cities where I have lived. Our entire family has been endlessly informed and entertained, for free and not just with books, but with movies, a toy borrowing program and even art. For our family, isn't summer without the local Summer Reading program, which provides incentives from area businesses and a cool t-shirt at completion. This winter, we've been there at least twice a week for fresh books. Towns and cities who take care of their libraries and fund them properly overall are the best places to live. When hunting for the best place to raise a family, look first to the local public library. Ours rocks!
  

Ya gotta GROW UP!

When I was a young actor in San Francisco, I was in a very touchy-feely navel-grazing-ish acting class based on the Lee Strasberg method acting school and a little more. The class not only worked a lot with sense memory exercises, and being in the moment, but also with exploring why we, the actor, did what we do in real life, what our "blockages" were and finding out where unhealthy or destructive patterns came from.

It was a real life-changer for me. I was young, in a new place, newly graduated, eager to prove myself and my defenses were tissue thick. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that being a soft and sensitive woman was not a weakness of mine, but a strength. It is amazing to me now, but that was a HUGE breakthrough in how I deal with life.

After about a year and a half though, I felt stuck, and left the class. The issue was dealing with our "inner child." This concept for self exploration and a whole school of therapy was first made popular by John Bradshaw in his book "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" in the late 1980s-early 90s and is still in use in some therapy circles today. The theory goes that inside of each adult, there is a little, vulnerable child who needs nurturing from all the ways your childhood was lacking or damaged or traumatized. (Hint: it's usually your parents' fault. Oh, joy.)

This is my inner child. Be nice to her, she is from Ohio.

There are some valid and exciting things to discover with doing this sort of exploration. You can remember where some negative beliefs or reactions have their roots, you can look at old hurts from a grown up perspective, and learn where it effected you and why they happened. If you get to that point, you can grow from there, change bad patterns, acknowledge and forgive mistakes made by yourself and others, and move on.

The problem is, for a lot of therapists (or touchy-feely acting instructors,) the exploration is so lucrative and can be made so mind-bogglingly complicated, that the solution step of learning from the inner child is either not revealed or not encouraged for years and years. Acknowledgement, forgiveness and perspective does not seem to weigh in soon enough.

The follower of this particular form of therapy can easily get stuck in resentment, helpless frustration, and a culture of victimhood.

The concept of exploring the "inner child" it is laudable that it gives a person working through issues a way to understand the basis of where their decisions came from in a non-threatening manner (i.e. the parents always disciplined by shaming and hitting and yelling and this effected how you saw yourself) but it is too easy to make a false connections (i.e. so you started drinking and became a drug addict and it is THEIR fault!). How you were raised is one thing, what you did with the baggage was NOT their choice in your life, but your own.

It is comforting, but false to make your own destructive choices someone else's doing.
It assumes that you have no free will, and your life was never your own.
Ultimately, it stunts your ability to see that change is up to you, and fixing things is up to you and not in someone else's power.
Blaming never fixed a problem.
Taking responsibility, plotting a course of action and following through fixes problems.

In regular life or in the development of an actor's craft, stagnation is not going to lead to a successful outcome. Growth and freedom cannot be claimed by hiding from change or self-actualization. And wallowing with your "inner child" instead of learning from it will not help you move forward.

In the end, being an adult means being responsible for how you are raising yourself.

More New Year's Blog

I thought I would let these resolutions be known too:

I resolve to figure out when to use "who," and when to use "whom." I will also try to think about this in the case of grammar.

I will decide if I think Daniel Craig is insufferably hot, or if he looks like a monkey. I keep going back and forth with this one.
Insufferably HOT!


...and looks like a monkey.



I will remember people's birthdays in the same month that they have them, and send cards in a timely manner.

I resolve to change my teen and preteen's room decor away from preschool to something age appropriate. This must be done before they start hiding girls in the stuffed animal corner.

I want to invent a cockatiel diaper. Sunny the Bird has no sense of propriety, and excellent aim.









More to follow...