(Cue the dirge music)
After the high of the Obama Inauguration, there is presently nothing to look forward to for a while. I have a birthday in March, but February is one of those months that one just has to endure. Valentine's Day and President's Day don't count for much but candy and furniture sales, and I don't need either of them.
This winter has been closer to the winters of my youth. Winters of my younger years were dark and bitter. They were cold too.
When I was a kid in Ohio, we had winters that were unreasonably cold and had such deep snow we didn't see the ground for literally months. One year, in the last week of February, I went outside and dug in the snow in the back yard. I couldn't stand being stuck inside the house anymore, and I was frustrated with my family, starting the shift to pubescence, and just plain feeling SAD without knowing what it was. I dug and dug and finally could reach down a whole arm length and STILL could not find ground. I started to cry, and then I started to shriek, and then I started pummeling the snow. I kept digging and pummeling, and finally found the ground in a hole that, had I stood in it, would have come up near to my waist. Instead, I just bent over into it and cried my eyes out as I finally touched the frozen grass.
I'm not screaming into snowholes yet. However, it isn't February for a few more days. Right now I just feel more "meh" than usual.
Maybe I need to sit on the back patio in a bikini on a sunny day with a space heater or three, a pitcher of lemonade and a stack of seed catalogs. Oi. What a picture. My albedo is stunning.
I have decided that I want a party. I want a February party now. It must be bright, it must involve summer activities, and it must involve friends. I will do this! Who wants in? I will go shrieking into the tundra in a few weeks...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
WOOOT! OBAMA! OBAMA!
I watched the inauguration with tears in my eyes with hope and happiness and resolve in my heart.
The inauguration had a very tasteful set of music (with my friend Ira Carrol's son playing clarinet in the quartet with Itzak Perlman and Yo Yo Ma!) and nice invocation and a lovely benediction that overshadowed the American Poet in its lyricism.
As much as I will always kick myself for not getting to Grant Park on Election Day, I am content to just have a little party in my heart here in Chicago, and an All-American meal of Chicago Dogs for lunch. I don't like traffic snarls, and fancy dressing in the middle of winter makes me cold.
Good Luck and God Bless our NEW PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!
The inauguration had a very tasteful set of music (with my friend Ira Carrol's son playing clarinet in the quartet with Itzak Perlman and Yo Yo Ma!) and nice invocation and a lovely benediction that overshadowed the American Poet in its lyricism.
As much as I will always kick myself for not getting to Grant Park on Election Day, I am content to just have a little party in my heart here in Chicago, and an All-American meal of Chicago Dogs for lunch. I don't like traffic snarls, and fancy dressing in the middle of winter makes me cold.
Good Luck and God Bless our NEW PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Wednesday Random
- Feeling a little nostalgic for the Bush Administration already? Here is a lovely retrospective of the Bush years compiled by the Harper's Weekly that will put it all into perspective. It gives an alarming picture of how much the incoming administration has to work to undo the damage. I wish Obama the best of good fortune and my full and heartfelt support.
- I live in Ch-ch-chi-Chicago and it is c-c-c-old. Windchills of 40 degrees below zero tonight. How cold is it? My 13 year old actually wore a hat and scarf and gloves today and zipped up his coat!
- I have been taking a stage movement class the past couple of weeks, focusing on movement for plays in the Restoration and Georgian periods. It's fascinating, because I have always just guessed my way through period pieces, imitating what I saw in movies and on stage. It's been fun to find out the whys and wherefores of what was appropriate behavior for the aristocracy at that time--and plays written in that time period are almost exclusively about the aristocracy since they were the only ones that "mattered." The most interesting fun fact that I learned--because of the styles in that time period, when women sat down they splayed their legs wide open! This was to show off the skirts underneath the over skirts. It's disconcerting to be so slow moving, upright, showy and refined, and then sit down like a dainty trucker.
- And finally, may I put in a good word for the Public Library? Aside from when I lived in California, I have always been blessed with excellent public libraries in the cities where I have lived. Our entire family has been endlessly informed and entertained, for free and not just with books, but with movies, a toy borrowing program and even art. For our family, isn't summer without the local Summer Reading program, which provides incentives from area businesses and a cool t-shirt at completion. This winter, we've been there at least twice a week for fresh books. Towns and cities who take care of their libraries and fund them properly overall are the best places to live. When hunting for the best place to raise a family, look first to the local public library. Ours rocks!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Ya gotta GROW UP!
When I was a young actor in San Francisco, I was in a very touchy-feely navel-grazing-ish acting class based on the Lee Strasberg method acting school and a little more. The class not only worked a lot with sense memory exercises, and being in the moment, but also with exploring why we, the actor, did what we do in real life, what our "blockages" were and finding out where unhealthy or destructive patterns came from.
It was a real life-changer for me. I was young, in a new place, newly graduated, eager to prove myself and my defenses were tissue thick. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that being a soft and sensitive woman was not a weakness of mine, but a strength. It is amazing to me now, but that was a HUGE breakthrough in how I deal with life.
After about a year and a half though, I felt stuck, and left the class. The issue was dealing with our "inner child." This concept for self exploration and a whole school of therapy was first made popular by John Bradshaw in his book "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" in the late 1980s-early 90s and is still in use in some therapy circles today. The theory goes that inside of each adult, there is a little, vulnerable child who needs nurturing from all the ways your childhood was lacking or damaged or traumatized. (Hint: it's usually your parents' fault. Oh, joy.)
This is my inner child. Be nice to her, she is from Ohio.
There are some valid and exciting things to discover with doing this sort of exploration. You can remember where some negative beliefs or reactions have their roots, you can look at old hurts from a grown up perspective, and learn where it effected you and why they happened. If you get to that point, you can grow from there, change bad patterns, acknowledge and forgive mistakes made by yourself and others, and move on.
The problem is, for a lot of therapists (or touchy-feely acting instructors,) the exploration is so lucrative and can be made so mind-bogglingly complicated, that the solution step of learning from the inner child is either not revealed or not encouraged for years and years. Acknowledgement, forgiveness and perspective does not seem to weigh in soon enough.
The follower of this particular form of therapy can easily get stuck in resentment, helpless frustration, and a culture of victimhood.
The concept of exploring the "inner child" it is laudable that it gives a person working through issues a way to understand the basis of where their decisions came from in a non-threatening manner (i.e. the parents always disciplined by shaming and hitting and yelling and this effected how you saw yourself) but it is too easy to make a false connections (i.e. so you started drinking and became a drug addict and it is THEIR fault!). How you were raised is one thing, what you did with the baggage was NOT their choice in your life, but your own.
It is comforting, but false to make your own destructive choices someone else's doing.
It assumes that you have no free will, and your life was never your own.
Ultimately, it stunts your ability to see that change is up to you, and fixing things is up to you and not in someone else's power.
Blaming never fixed a problem.
Taking responsibility, plotting a course of action and following through fixes problems.
In regular life or in the development of an actor's craft, stagnation is not going to lead to a successful outcome. Growth and freedom cannot be claimed by hiding from change or self-actualization. And wallowing with your "inner child" instead of learning from it will not help you move forward.
In the end, being an adult means being responsible for how you are raising yourself.
It was a real life-changer for me. I was young, in a new place, newly graduated, eager to prove myself and my defenses were tissue thick. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that being a soft and sensitive woman was not a weakness of mine, but a strength. It is amazing to me now, but that was a HUGE breakthrough in how I deal with life.
After about a year and a half though, I felt stuck, and left the class. The issue was dealing with our "inner child." This concept for self exploration and a whole school of therapy was first made popular by John Bradshaw in his book "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" in the late 1980s-early 90s and is still in use in some therapy circles today. The theory goes that inside of each adult, there is a little, vulnerable child who needs nurturing from all the ways your childhood was lacking or damaged or traumatized. (Hint: it's usually your parents' fault. Oh, joy.)
This is my inner child. Be nice to her, she is from Ohio.
There are some valid and exciting things to discover with doing this sort of exploration. You can remember where some negative beliefs or reactions have their roots, you can look at old hurts from a grown up perspective, and learn where it effected you and why they happened. If you get to that point, you can grow from there, change bad patterns, acknowledge and forgive mistakes made by yourself and others, and move on.
The problem is, for a lot of therapists (or touchy-feely acting instructors,) the exploration is so lucrative and can be made so mind-bogglingly complicated, that the solution step of learning from the inner child is either not revealed or not encouraged for years and years. Acknowledgement, forgiveness and perspective does not seem to weigh in soon enough.
The follower of this particular form of therapy can easily get stuck in resentment, helpless frustration, and a culture of victimhood.
The concept of exploring the "inner child" it is laudable that it gives a person working through issues a way to understand the basis of where their decisions came from in a non-threatening manner (i.e. the parents always disciplined by shaming and hitting and yelling and this effected how you saw yourself) but it is too easy to make a false connections (i.e. so you started drinking and became a drug addict and it is THEIR fault!). How you were raised is one thing, what you did with the baggage was NOT their choice in your life, but your own.
It is comforting, but false to make your own destructive choices someone else's doing.
It assumes that you have no free will, and your life was never your own.
Ultimately, it stunts your ability to see that change is up to you, and fixing things is up to you and not in someone else's power.
Blaming never fixed a problem.
Taking responsibility, plotting a course of action and following through fixes problems.
In regular life or in the development of an actor's craft, stagnation is not going to lead to a successful outcome. Growth and freedom cannot be claimed by hiding from change or self-actualization. And wallowing with your "inner child" instead of learning from it will not help you move forward.
In the end, being an adult means being responsible for how you are raising yourself.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
More New Year's Blog
I thought I would let these resolutions be known too:
I resolve to figure out when to use "who," and when to use "whom." I will also try to think about this in the case of grammar.
I will decide if I think Daniel Craig is insufferably hot, or if he looks like a monkey. I keep going back and forth with this one.
Insufferably HOT!
...and looks like a monkey.
I will remember people's birthdays in the same month that they have them, and send cards in a timely manner.
I resolve to change my teen and preteen's room decor away from preschool to something age appropriate. This must be done before they start hiding girls in the stuffed animal corner.
I want to invent a cockatiel diaper. Sunny the Bird has no sense of propriety, and excellent aim.
More to follow...
I resolve to figure out when to use "who," and when to use "whom." I will also try to think about this in the case of grammar.
I will decide if I think Daniel Craig is insufferably hot, or if he looks like a monkey. I keep going back and forth with this one.
Insufferably HOT!
...and looks like a monkey.
I will remember people's birthdays in the same month that they have them, and send cards in a timely manner.
I resolve to change my teen and preteen's room decor away from preschool to something age appropriate. This must be done before they start hiding girls in the stuffed animal corner.
I want to invent a cockatiel diaper. Sunny the Bird has no sense of propriety, and excellent aim.
More to follow...
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