I have let most of the month of January go without the dreaded blog about resolutions, probably because they are pretty banal--lose weight, get more sleep, write more, exercise more, find a meaningful day job and not something that feels like running a cheese grater over my brain, etc.
For sure, there's plenty to work on--but the one resolution I keep--and one that everyone can benefit from--is to count blessings regularly. It's easy to get caught up in negativity--and even if it increases the number of hits to my blog, (eye roll, sigh) it really isn't where I live. Counting blessings keeps me grounded.
I am blessed. I have good health, and I love life.
My family is awesome. I have teenage sons who are easy to get along with, and really make me proud of them for having good sense (most of the time) and their eyes on the future, not just the present. I feel blessed that we actually have long conversations and laugh together a lot.
I am blessed that I have been married for a looooong time and it doesn't feel like it. I married the best guy, and I am amazed by him constantly for his wisdom, good sense, and wicked sense of humor. He's also a much better cook than I am.
I am blessed with a great Dad who is doing really well since my mom passed away. He's working, staying active, and jokes about cruising for chicks when he's going to the public library.
I am blessed that my in-laws all great people, and they have never once fit the stereotypes.
I am blessed that I can run again, and in yoga I can bend all the way down to put my hands flat on the floor. After a debilitating back injury a couple years ago, I can't tell you how much this makes me happy.
I am blessed to work with such awesome people on my side job with the high school speech and debate team. I feel blessed that we are focused on the development of the students instead of just priming them for competition. We develop good speakers and actors and debaters, not good forensicators. (Though it is nice when they win anyway. I won't deny that we've been ranked one of the top 100 teams in the nation out of 3000.) It is a blessing to teach kids who want to be there, and to watch them grow from uncertain children to outstanding adults. It's nice to know that sometimes, they let us know we had an influence on their lives in profound ways.
I am super blessed to have the support and freedom to pursue passions such as theatre, music and art. I can't always be as involved as I would like to be, because life/work/family happens, but there is still room, and I am so grateful! Right now I am so excited to be rehearsing a show with a new script so beautifully written it made me cry, and it's being directed by a person who is truly a genius.
Blessings lift you, and reminding yourself of them keeps the eye on what really is important. Life is very, very good.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Growing growing growing
Yesterday I took my youngest to buy clothes. This is a remarkably rare thing--he doesn't care if he's wearing hand me downs, and still doesn't really care about his appearance. However, he's in a tremendous growth spurt, and we don't have any hand me down pants in his current size since his brother is still wearing his gangsta style to make the legs fit. (Honestly, I would like to take him shopping too.)
I was waiting for my youngest outside the dressing room, and it occurred to me as I looked around that this was probably one of the last times, if not THE last time I would be taking him to shop in the boys section of the store. The boy has grown to be one inch taller than me, and this is just the beginning.
I am now not only the only female (besides the cat) in the house, but I'm now also the shortest person in the house (besides that cat and the bird.)
The bittersweet side is that everyone is growing up. The up side is, I will soon have an excellent wardrobe of hand me down hoodies, jackets, and sweatshirts.
I was waiting for my youngest outside the dressing room, and it occurred to me as I looked around that this was probably one of the last times, if not THE last time I would be taking him to shop in the boys section of the store. The boy has grown to be one inch taller than me, and this is just the beginning.
I am now not only the only female (besides the cat) in the house, but I'm now also the shortest person in the house (besides that cat and the bird.)
The bittersweet side is that everyone is growing up. The up side is, I will soon have an excellent wardrobe of hand me down hoodies, jackets, and sweatshirts.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Shall I be blunt...
As a youngster, I was often tactless in how I would convey my opinions. I had to learn through hard lessons and trial and error how to diplomatically convey my concerns with grace through many years of practice. I became really good at this as a sales manager, and use my skills to this day guiding my high school students.
I have been mostly successful in this, but lately, I have lost patience with some people and found myself reverting to blunt, frank expression for getting people's attention--or at least catharsis when at wit's end with otherwise smart people who are being too arrogant, too brainwashed or too idiotic. It has surprised me, because I have been out of this mode for a long time, and it only comes out with certainty on my part that disaster, minor or major is imminent. Pay attention if I am blunt with you. I don't do it easily or lightly, and I mean business, and I only do it if I AM RIGHT and you must be heading for disaster.
Here is the update to my previous post. I was probably too quickly blunt with that artistic director, but by damn, his script was a mess, frighteningly so, and it was not close to being ready for anything. I was frightened for them, really. These are not bad people. I WANT them to succeed. Sure enough, the reviews are terrible so far, and the blame for the show's failure are all being laid right on his doorstep as writer and director and no one else's. The critics could be reading my words to him EXACTLY from three months ago because they are now being brutally blunt, publicly. I was 100% right, and now his show is in jeopardy, as is his reputation, as is his theatre company (update--A grant came in. Bad show will only be a bummer. Whew.) He should have listened to me. Small comfort. This does not bring me happiness at all (except that the grant came in so they aren't ruined.)
I had another occasion this week where bluntness happened, because being compassionate an understanding didn't get anywhere and time is running out. I have a friend who is allowing themself to be pulled around by their nose by a cute looking psychopath who knows how to spin a mean mindfuck, and I can just see a really, really bad situation is just about to happen. It's like seeing someone is speeding in their car towards a brick wall, and all I can do is shout, "WATCH OUT YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!" And hope they steers away in time. I was completely blunt with the facts, which caught that person off guard, and I hope to God they got shaken out of their stupor in time to get away from a bad situation.
I don't feel that verbal "blunt force trauma" will or should become a habit. It really isn't pleasant for either party, though I am probably getting the better end of the deal. I feel like a crude Cassandra. For them, they got straight facts forcefully snapping them awake, and if they listen, good. If not, they have to deal with knowing I warned them, and now they have to pay a steep price.
I have been mostly successful in this, but lately, I have lost patience with some people and found myself reverting to blunt, frank expression for getting people's attention--or at least catharsis when at wit's end with otherwise smart people who are being too arrogant, too brainwashed or too idiotic. It has surprised me, because I have been out of this mode for a long time, and it only comes out with certainty on my part that disaster, minor or major is imminent. Pay attention if I am blunt with you. I don't do it easily or lightly, and I mean business, and I only do it if I AM RIGHT and you must be heading for disaster.
Here is the update to my previous post. I was probably too quickly blunt with that artistic director, but by damn, his script was a mess, frighteningly so, and it was not close to being ready for anything. I was frightened for them, really. These are not bad people. I WANT them to succeed. Sure enough, the reviews are terrible so far, and the blame for the show's failure are all being laid right on his doorstep as writer and director and no one else's. The critics could be reading my words to him EXACTLY from three months ago because they are now being brutally blunt, publicly. I was 100% right, and now his show is in jeopardy, as is his reputation, as is his theatre company (update--A grant came in. Bad show will only be a bummer. Whew.) He should have listened to me. Small comfort. This does not bring me happiness at all (except that the grant came in so they aren't ruined.)
I had another occasion this week where bluntness happened, because being compassionate an understanding didn't get anywhere and time is running out. I have a friend who is allowing themself to be pulled around by their nose by a cute looking psychopath who knows how to spin a mean mindfuck, and I can just see a really, really bad situation is just about to happen. It's like seeing someone is speeding in their car towards a brick wall, and all I can do is shout, "WATCH OUT YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!" And hope they steers away in time. I was completely blunt with the facts, which caught that person off guard, and I hope to God they got shaken out of their stupor in time to get away from a bad situation.
I don't feel that verbal "blunt force trauma" will or should become a habit. It really isn't pleasant for either party, though I am probably getting the better end of the deal. I feel like a crude Cassandra. For them, they got straight facts forcefully snapping them awake, and if they listen, good. If not, they have to deal with knowing I warned them, and now they have to pay a steep price.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Minor drama, for sure.
Here's an "easter egg" for anyone who is looking for dirt on a certain little "drama" unfolding in my life.
Early last year I was asked to be on the board of directors for this theatre company. I thought it might be an interesting project, but what the position entailed was never really defined, so it became frustrating.
I decided to leave when offered a part in one of the productions that happened to be written by the artistic director. This was a show that had not been shown to the board, mostly because it hadn't been written yet. I read the working draft of the show and to put it nicely, "it needed a LOT of work." It was 4 hours long and still unfinished. Plotting and characters were hard to follow and undefined. Lots of women naked and brutalized for "edginess" out of sheer misogyny and not to make a statement or more importantly, move the plot forward. I also couldn't tell who his target audience was or even what the story was really about. It was a mess.
I got "into dialogue" with the artistic director, and apparently it didn't matter what anyone said to him, it was "all going to work itself out in rehearsal." He "didn't believe" in staged readings or "feedback" before going into full production.
Being a veteran actor of one too many plays that were half finished at the beginning of the rehearsal period, I knew this was a recipe for disaster. I didn't want to be viewed as responsible for allowing it to commence (though it had in truth, never been offered for review before production, nor had we approved it as a group anyway as a new show.)
So, I quit. Wrote a friendly, tactful resignation letter. I feel sometimes people have to be allowed to make their own mistakes, and it isn't up to me help them find money or support to pay for it.
About a month ago, the artistic director must have thought that my quitting would make a great publicity angle. I'm not really sure why. I was asked for a statement, and I made a very bland, boring one; that I felt producing the show that I was shown as a mistake, my concerns were not listened to, so as a volunteer, I quit. It's one thing to have a strong difference with someone, it's quite another let him use you for some bullshit PR move. Pressed for more details, I declined.
The article came out this past week, and since I was declined to elaborate, the artistic director decided to give the magazine my resignation letter for fodder. UPDATE: This was a misguided but apparently not malicious move on the part of the assistant artistic director. Resignation letters are internal communication, and not for broadcast. They did not ask my permission. It doesn't make me look bad, it makes them look questionable for giving it over after I refused to comment. I had phrased everything in that letter pretty kindly though, so the article still didn't have much "controversy" to it.
The show opens this weekend. With the weirdo publicity angle, he has already cast doubt on his own show. This is not a good thing to do. It's still over 3 hours long. The publicity stills popping up on Facebook make everyone look lost. The set is relentlessly orange and brown, and so are the costumes. I have little hope that this is going to turn out well.
So, that has been my ordeal of "swirling controversy." Stay tuned for more "drama" as it happens.
Early last year I was asked to be on the board of directors for this theatre company. I thought it might be an interesting project, but what the position entailed was never really defined, so it became frustrating.
I decided to leave when offered a part in one of the productions that happened to be written by the artistic director. This was a show that had not been shown to the board, mostly because it hadn't been written yet. I read the working draft of the show and to put it nicely, "it needed a LOT of work." It was 4 hours long and still unfinished. Plotting and characters were hard to follow and undefined. Lots of women naked and brutalized for "edginess" out of sheer misogyny and not to make a statement or more importantly, move the plot forward. I also couldn't tell who his target audience was or even what the story was really about. It was a mess.
I got "into dialogue" with the artistic director, and apparently it didn't matter what anyone said to him, it was "all going to work itself out in rehearsal." He "didn't believe" in staged readings or "feedback" before going into full production.
Being a veteran actor of one too many plays that were half finished at the beginning of the rehearsal period, I knew this was a recipe for disaster. I didn't want to be viewed as responsible for allowing it to commence (though it had in truth, never been offered for review before production, nor had we approved it as a group anyway as a new show.)
So, I quit. Wrote a friendly, tactful resignation letter. I feel sometimes people have to be allowed to make their own mistakes, and it isn't up to me help them find money or support to pay for it.
About a month ago, the artistic director must have thought that my quitting would make a great publicity angle. I'm not really sure why. I was asked for a statement, and I made a very bland, boring one; that I felt producing the show that I was shown as a mistake, my concerns were not listened to, so as a volunteer, I quit. It's one thing to have a strong difference with someone, it's quite another let him use you for some bullshit PR move. Pressed for more details, I declined.
The article came out this past week, and since I was declined to elaborate, the artistic director decided to give the magazine my resignation letter for fodder. UPDATE: This was a misguided but apparently not malicious move on the part of the assistant artistic director. Resignation letters are internal communication, and not for broadcast. They did not ask my permission. It doesn't make me look bad, it makes them look questionable for giving it over after I refused to comment. I had phrased everything in that letter pretty kindly though, so the article still didn't have much "controversy" to it.
The show opens this weekend. With the weirdo publicity angle, he has already cast doubt on his own show. This is not a good thing to do. It's still over 3 hours long. The publicity stills popping up on Facebook make everyone look lost. The set is relentlessly orange and brown, and so are the costumes. I have little hope that this is going to turn out well.
So, that has been my ordeal of "swirling controversy." Stay tuned for more "drama" as it happens.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Christmas and New Years!
Christmas was hard, as expected, but because we limped along with what we have always done, I think it made it easier on the whole family in the long run. Having one important person missing was change enough, totally changing everything else we do would have been traumatic.
New Years Eve, my nuclear family exchanges gifts as if it was Christmas Day. This started back when my husband and I were first married and couldn't afford to fly back to Ohio and do family presents, then also give each other gifts as well. We decided that we would celebrate our Christmas one month later. It ended up working so well, we've been doing the later holiday ever since.
As we get older, we aren't going all out on gifts to each other. We have enough "stuff." So, now we do small things like edible treats, and replacement items. This year, Dan got me a microwave. The one we have is 15 years old and rusting. He made it special by wrapping the new one up, and singing me the Sun TV "I Got Me a Microwave Oven" jingle from about 20-25 years ago. It's probably up there in most annoying radio jingles--it's catchy, and back when they were running it, ubiquitous. Ask anyone who grew up in Central Ohio during the 80s and 90s--they can sing it for you.
With a polka-esque gusto:
"I got me a microwave oven/a gift for my family!!!!
My wife loves her microwave oven/she says that it sets her free!!!!!
It cooks up so much faster and better/and uses less energy!!!!!
I got me a microwave oven/I got it at Sun TV!!!!!
Don't you be a kitchen slave/get yourself a microwave!!!!!
Don't get left home on the range!!!!!
Microwave food is delicious!/ Cooks faster and more nutritious!!!!!
It's time to make the change!!!!!!
I got me a Microwave oven/ I got it at Sun TV!!!!!!"
New Years Eve was 3 days ago, and I'm still humming "I Got Me a Microwave Oven" against my will. It's a gift that keeps giving.
New Years Eve, my nuclear family exchanges gifts as if it was Christmas Day. This started back when my husband and I were first married and couldn't afford to fly back to Ohio and do family presents, then also give each other gifts as well. We decided that we would celebrate our Christmas one month later. It ended up working so well, we've been doing the later holiday ever since.
As we get older, we aren't going all out on gifts to each other. We have enough "stuff." So, now we do small things like edible treats, and replacement items. This year, Dan got me a microwave. The one we have is 15 years old and rusting. He made it special by wrapping the new one up, and singing me the Sun TV "I Got Me a Microwave Oven" jingle from about 20-25 years ago. It's probably up there in most annoying radio jingles--it's catchy, and back when they were running it, ubiquitous. Ask anyone who grew up in Central Ohio during the 80s and 90s--they can sing it for you.
With a polka-esque gusto:
"I got me a microwave oven/a gift for my family!!!!
My wife loves her microwave oven/she says that it sets her free!!!!!
It cooks up so much faster and better/and uses less energy!!!!!
I got me a microwave oven/I got it at Sun TV!!!!!
Don't you be a kitchen slave/get yourself a microwave!!!!!
Don't get left home on the range!!!!!
Microwave food is delicious!/ Cooks faster and more nutritious!!!!!
It's time to make the change!!!!!!
I got me a Microwave oven/ I got it at Sun TV!!!!!!"
New Years Eve was 3 days ago, and I'm still humming "I Got Me a Microwave Oven" against my will. It's a gift that keeps giving.
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