A little bit of actor hell...

This weekend, we opened "Bounty of Lace" a very nice new play at the Lincoln Square Theatre in Chicago. I play "Geula" who is this wonderfully complex character in a play about Israeli women dealing with life, loss and choices.

The director is a young guy who is personally going through the seven circles of hell right now in his personal life--I won't go into it, but trust me, it would be really hard to be him right now and be able to cohesively put sentences together, let alone direct a show. But he did, and it was difficult, but we all worked together and got the play going where it needs to go.


So, last night, Sunday, was opening night. Here is where my little bit of hell came in--

I have been having a lot of coughing lately, left over from a cold a few weeks ago, and on Saturday it started to become something more than just a cough. My chest hurts. I am so freaking tired. And I can't often get a full breath.

This play was very hard for all of us to memorize, but for some reason, me most of all. I fear early onset dementia. My husband, going over the lines with me, noted that my character is not consistent in phrasing, and sometimes sounds like a native Israeli speaker and sometimes is very American sounding. This could be because she lived in America for a while, but the upshot is, it makes it difficult to memorize, especially with potential early onset dementia. And Geula talks a lot. In fact, she starts the show with a 6 minute monologue.

Before the show, I was terrified I would cough uncontrollably or wheeze or faint during the show. I was also feeling lethargy and chills. So, since I have no understudy, I took all the meds I could safely mix together without getting the shakes. I got them anyway, but I wasn't coughing and I could breathe.

I had my first bout with stage fright just before I went on. I breathed and reminded myself my heart was racing because of the sudafed and albuterol, not fear. I got out on stage and actually felt pretty good. I clipped through the monologue, going fine, then I got to the very last phrase of it, and blanked. Hard. Time slowed down. I stood there like a deer in the headlights. A halo of dark surrounded my vision. An eternity passed before someone dimmed the lights and the actress playing my daughter went up, as she should have once I finished the phrase, that I could not remember to save my life.

Talk about feeling stupid and humiliated.

The rest of the show went fine. In fact, people seemed to really enjoy it, and Dan, who is my audience safety blanket, was actually very flattering in what he had to say and said that it looked like a missed light cue to him.

It wasn't a missed light cue. It was a worm hole in time that went right through the memory centers of my brain, and the whole cast and crew knew it. Humiliating.

Little did I know there was a reviewer there. Once I found out, I felt even worse. However, this is all they had to say:

New Review (Theater and Comedy)

Bounty of Lace

Through 7/18: check with theater for repertory schedule,
312-458-9170
Theater & Performance

The most intriguing character in Susan Merson's drama is Guela, a weary Israeli mother and walking tangle of contradictions. At once adopting the yoke of tradition and chafing against it, she's envious, resentful, and proud of her independent-minded stepdaughter, whose affair with a Palestinian man has left her pregnant. The conflict between these two has promise, but Merson dilutes it by introducing two ancillary female characters--a goofy American ex-pat and a wise Ethiopian university professor--presumably meant to show a wider cross-section of women and the choices open to them. The effect, though, is an intrusion that bars us from fully delving into Guela's conflicted emotions. Jesus Contreras's production has a few nice, quiet moments, but too often the cast opts for yuks and bustle. Part of the Alcyone Festival. --Zac Thompson $10-$20, festival pass $50

To be fair, the show will probably not be as tending towards "yuks and bustle" in subsequent performances. Because of the place in his life that the director is in, at first he was directing the show to a very dour and loveless and dark place--once the artistic directors had a look at it, and had the playwright talk to him about where she saw the characters, we had to do a complete 180 degrees in a lot of ways in the space of a week. It could be that we swung a little too far the other way. I am sure that it will settle down by the next performance.

And save me, oh save me from any other wormholes in time...

Ohhhh, drama

Well, I seem to have blown my resolution to blog twice a week all to hell lately.

What I have found is that something had to go, and this was not really on anyone's compass besides my own as a must-do. Once things calm down, I should be able to go full speed ahead again.

Starting back to work full time and deciding (wrongly) that doing a new play in a new play festival with only 4 performances would be less time intensive than a full run (not in rehearsal!) while still being somewhat present for my family is just a lot to do. Blogs forgive. I barely have any readers. They probably will forgive too. (Thanks Mom and Dad.)

For information on the Alcyone New Play Festival check it out at www.halycontheatre.org
I am in "Bounty of Lace," which at the moment I cannot be sure if it is recommendable--we will see after this rehearsal.

Today I left work early because I was just too tired to be able to keep going from work to a six hour rehearsal. I would have ruined rehearsal because the first thing to go is my memory--and my character talks and talks and talks. Friday afternoons are usually a bust anyway at regular work. I am still hourly until the end of the month, so I think actually I am saving my employer money. I had a little rest that was sort of like sleeping, and I feel a bit more refreshed and less like a danger to the public when I get back behind the wheel.

So, my few readers, I will be back once I have some more time. I am sure you are waiting with bated breath.