Why I don't like Indiana

Drove though Indiana twice within the past 7 days. I don't like Indiana. It creeps me out. Here is why:

1. Basketball worship. 

2. So darn flat. Makes one ready to get out of there, away from the unrelenting corn fields and plentiful pig farms.

3. The place breeds inchoately unpleasant people. Pale, taciturn boys in the college speech circuit liked to make excuses to touch me with clammy hands (hand shaking in greeting or touching my arm while passing) and never made eye contact.  Lately, I have met several women whom I would classify as borderline personalities who delight in wrecking the lives of others. All three were from Indiana. Coincidence? (Probably. But they're terrible ambassadors.)  Many nice people come from Indiana too, but they generally move away.

4. Cross the border from Ohio to Indiana, and suddenly you are assaulted with overt and rather hostile Christian billboards all the way to Illinois. Would you convert for "JESUS IS REAL." "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU" "WE ARE A CHRISTIAN NATION" over an angry looking bald eagle and "DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU ARE SPENDING ETERNITY? DO YOU?" There are several roadside crosses vying for most obnoxiously monolithic. Today, when we stopped for Skyline Chili, the restaurant was playing nothing but Christian praise songs. I'm pretty sure that isn't part of the corporate image. It's also one of the most relentlessly monotonous music archtypes one can inflict upon others. I did eat faster, and maybe that was the point.

The thing is, I am Christian, and I was offended by the heavy hammer of fundamentalists in Indiana. I don't like being pounded on the head with it. I don't want to be associated with people who think relentless propaganda is love.

5. Indiana never lets you know if a rest stop has been closed until you walk up to the restroom building. Bastards!