Friday, September 16, 2011
Honking at a ship that's passed
"The Rogue" by Joe McGinniss is out with all sorts of salacious details and "proof" Sarah Palin is a shallow, mean spirited human being. But who cares? It's not like anyone with half a brain couldn't have figured that out themselves just watching her the past three years. The thing is, her ship is passed, and all he is doing is honking as it passes. She even honks back, hoping someone will wave at her as she goes. But no one cares. They are on to other things.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
In which I inform Joe Walsh he is an Embarrassing Asshat
This morning I got up early to go to a local Republican Party meeting to see what it was like, to hear Joe Walsh speak, and to hopefully ask him questions and tell him my displeasure with how he is representing us.
No, despite my last post, I really am much too polite of a person to be disruptive in my social discourse. This doesn't mean I don't make myself heard, or that anyone would be wondering where I stand on something, just that I am not going to be a jerk about it.
Just about everyone there was old, as in, over 55. Everyone except one of the judge-candidates was very white.
Fully a fifth of the people there were running for office of some sort or another and looking for petition signers--mostly judges and committee people, and one state representative. A couple of the judge-candidates I quite liked, and will look into supporting.
MoveOn.org tried to organize something last minute, and everyone that showed up was civil. It was a very crowded room. Oh, so typically, during the question and answer period the republican chair person decided only to give the microphone to known republicans and ignored anyone else in the room he did not know.
This is not free speech, but he explained to me later, they had had some ugly meetings in earlier months, and he was scared things could get ugly again if he let any of the new people talk. You mean, use tea party tactics? Shocking!
However, I politely let him know that I would have been civil, and showed my civility, and he should let me speak in the future. He agreed and thanked me for introducing myself. You see? Civil.
Afterwards, Joe did go outside to the front of the storefront and shook hands and talked to people. I held up my sign which read "Your Job is to listen to us and represent us, not to make stupid sound bites for Cable News." So if I didn't get to talk to him, he would know a tiny bit of what I was there for.
But, I did get to talk to him. I had time for one recent specific item. It's all I had time for. I told him that his making a big announcement the other day that he not going to go to the president's speech because Obama is idiotic was not only disrespectful to the office of the President of the United States, it also was disrespectful to all of us in the 8th district. He was basically saying that he was not going to listen, and he was not going to be there to represent us. He does not think before he spouts off, or even if he does, it's embarrassing to have him representing us. I told him, 'respectfully,' that when he acts like that, he really looks like an asshat. That basically he is saying, "I'm Joe Walsh, I'm not going to the speech because my penis is so big!" (Well, boo, civility lost, but I said it with a smile.)
His reply was to smile and say,"I didn't say that! What would happen if I said that?" I assured him I was speaking euphemistically, and he acknowledged that.
He asked me if I thought Obama was smart. I said of course! Did I think Michelle Bachman was smart? "NO!" Did I think Sarah Palin is smarter than Obama? "GOD no. No. But she may be wilier."
"Well, then 'respectully' you see that we live in two different worlds. I think Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama."
Jesus, he's not kidding. We are really from way different worlds. I think his is called "Bizarro."
Then it was time for him to leave, and that was that.
There are so many reasons to dislike and reproach this man--he's a deadbeat dad, anti-gay, a foreign policy ignoramus, anti-environment, a liar about small business, he's a tea party hypocrite, and he's just plain embarrassing. But today, for just one of his most recent embarrassments to our district, I personally got to tell him that he is an embarrassment, and that was in some wee measure, good.
No, despite my last post, I really am much too polite of a person to be disruptive in my social discourse. This doesn't mean I don't make myself heard, or that anyone would be wondering where I stand on something, just that I am not going to be a jerk about it.
Just about everyone there was old, as in, over 55. Everyone except one of the judge-candidates was very white.
Fully a fifth of the people there were running for office of some sort or another and looking for petition signers--mostly judges and committee people, and one state representative. A couple of the judge-candidates I quite liked, and will look into supporting.
MoveOn.org tried to organize something last minute, and everyone that showed up was civil. It was a very crowded room. Oh, so typically, during the question and answer period the republican chair person decided only to give the microphone to known republicans and ignored anyone else in the room he did not know.
This is not free speech, but he explained to me later, they had had some ugly meetings in earlier months, and he was scared things could get ugly again if he let any of the new people talk. You mean, use tea party tactics? Shocking!
However, I politely let him know that I would have been civil, and showed my civility, and he should let me speak in the future. He agreed and thanked me for introducing myself. You see? Civil.
Afterwards, Joe did go outside to the front of the storefront and shook hands and talked to people. I held up my sign which read "Your Job is to listen to us and represent us, not to make stupid sound bites for Cable News." So if I didn't get to talk to him, he would know a tiny bit of what I was there for.
But, I did get to talk to him. I had time for one recent specific item. It's all I had time for. I told him that his making a big announcement the other day that he not going to go to the president's speech because Obama is idiotic was not only disrespectful to the office of the President of the United States, it also was disrespectful to all of us in the 8th district. He was basically saying that he was not going to listen, and he was not going to be there to represent us. He does not think before he spouts off, or even if he does, it's embarrassing to have him representing us. I told him, 'respectfully,' that when he acts like that, he really looks like an asshat. That basically he is saying, "I'm Joe Walsh, I'm not going to the speech because my penis is so big!" (Well, boo, civility lost, but I said it with a smile.)
His reply was to smile and say,"I didn't say that! What would happen if I said that?" I assured him I was speaking euphemistically, and he acknowledged that.
He asked me if I thought Obama was smart. I said of course! Did I think Michelle Bachman was smart? "NO!" Did I think Sarah Palin is smarter than Obama? "GOD no. No. But she may be wilier."
"Well, then 'respectully' you see that we live in two different worlds. I think Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama."
Jesus, he's not kidding. We are really from way different worlds. I think his is called "Bizarro."
Then it was time for him to leave, and that was that.
There are so many reasons to dislike and reproach this man--he's a deadbeat dad, anti-gay, a foreign policy ignoramus, anti-environment, a liar about small business, he's a tea party hypocrite, and he's just plain embarrassing. But today, for just one of his most recent embarrassments to our district, I personally got to tell him that he is an embarrassment, and that was in some wee measure, good.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Bite size blogging
I am thinking of going to see Congressman Joe Walsh on Saturday morning at a republican event and "encourage" at him to think Jobs for Americans not Tax cuts for wealthy people. In addition, I would like to to let him know that obstructionism for party driven reasons is NOT "working for the people" and making embarrassing sound bites to 24 hour news about how cool he is he is disrespecting the president's jobs speech is the opposite of DOING HIS JOB. If I can let him know, by the by, I think that he is a loathsome hypocritical deadbeat dad and an embarrassment to humans in general, that would be swell. This is the sort of politician that needs to be confronted, because he is a fathead.
School has started again, and the world is once again full of possibility. September never stops feeling that way. We are all getting back to the school schedule, with its early mornings. If only I could also get the hang of early evenings.
About a month ago, I started the South Beach Diet at the suggestion of my OB GYN who said it would be great for my stubborn to lose middle age spread. It's healthy, and relies on non-processed foods and lots of fiber, with few to no empty carbs such as regular pasta, white rice, white bread, candy, etc. What do you know--it's actually working. Seven pounds down, ten to go. I am not perfect on it, but the first phase of the diet made me very aware of what was making the weight go on--sugar highs and lows brought on by insulin spikes from inferior foods. My blood sugar has evened out, and I am lacking cravings for high carb foods--most of the time.
I have been at my new job for about a month and a half, and I am excited that I am learning something every day, and there is little likelihood that it will be routine. This excites me. There are opportunities like crazy, and it's a company that is actually doing well even in this economy. It was a small company that is getting absorbed into a global company, and it is going through some growing pains. This seems to some people to be frustrating and full of problems, but I hope that they will also see that this also could be an opportunity to change things that aren't working while things are still flexible, malleable. It's very interesting, and stimulating as long as you don't get upset by negativity in the moment when something is not working.
It is late. I have an early morning tomorrow. Life is good. Ciao for now.
School has started again, and the world is once again full of possibility. September never stops feeling that way. We are all getting back to the school schedule, with its early mornings. If only I could also get the hang of early evenings.
About a month ago, I started the South Beach Diet at the suggestion of my OB GYN who said it would be great for my stubborn to lose middle age spread. It's healthy, and relies on non-processed foods and lots of fiber, with few to no empty carbs such as regular pasta, white rice, white bread, candy, etc. What do you know--it's actually working. Seven pounds down, ten to go. I am not perfect on it, but the first phase of the diet made me very aware of what was making the weight go on--sugar highs and lows brought on by insulin spikes from inferior foods. My blood sugar has evened out, and I am lacking cravings for high carb foods--most of the time.
I have been at my new job for about a month and a half, and I am excited that I am learning something every day, and there is little likelihood that it will be routine. This excites me. There are opportunities like crazy, and it's a company that is actually doing well even in this economy. It was a small company that is getting absorbed into a global company, and it is going through some growing pains. This seems to some people to be frustrating and full of problems, but I hope that they will also see that this also could be an opportunity to change things that aren't working while things are still flexible, malleable. It's very interesting, and stimulating as long as you don't get upset by negativity in the moment when something is not working.
It is late. I have an early morning tomorrow. Life is good. Ciao for now.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
One Year Anniversary
August 17th last year, my mom passed away the day after being diagnosed with lung cancer.
I wasn't sure how I would react, yesterday. Turned out, I had a few moments, but mostly I hung in there and had a pretty good day.
I have a new job, and it wouldn't have been professional to moan and groan, and we were too busy anyway.
It helped that last weekend we went out and visited my Dad, and we managed to have a great time together traveling a little, going out to eat, taking the niece out to go shopping, and talking a lot. Sometimes, it really helps to remember and enjoy who you do have in this world.
We talked about Mom, and since we are on the same wavelength, could talk about her honestly and about how we talk to her from time to time and how that helps.
Missing my mom is like a pain in my chest I have learned how to ignore until I can deal with it. It's good to acknowledge it though. It will always be there.
I miss my mom a lot. I miss her every day.
I wasn't sure how I would react, yesterday. Turned out, I had a few moments, but mostly I hung in there and had a pretty good day.
I have a new job, and it wouldn't have been professional to moan and groan, and we were too busy anyway.
It helped that last weekend we went out and visited my Dad, and we managed to have a great time together traveling a little, going out to eat, taking the niece out to go shopping, and talking a lot. Sometimes, it really helps to remember and enjoy who you do have in this world.
We talked about Mom, and since we are on the same wavelength, could talk about her honestly and about how we talk to her from time to time and how that helps.
Missing my mom is like a pain in my chest I have learned how to ignore until I can deal with it. It's good to acknowledge it though. It will always be there.
I miss my mom a lot. I miss her every day.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The calm down time
Well, I am calmer now. Since as a citizen I have no say in what Congress does or doesn't do, but I am free to say what a want about it, and I feel better for ranting a little. I am in the 96% disapproval rating camp for congress. Their leaving before fixing anything with the FAA was precious and oh so fiscally responsible. Glad someone stepped in and got those people back to work.
I have no idea if getting a lower credit rating is a terrible thing. It may not matter as much, as it didn't for Japan, or it may be terrible.
Obama did what he could by the end. I think (I hope) he knows what's going on better than I do.
I hope republicans can wise up and stop being so dragged around by the nose by crazy people who have hijacked their party. Their presidential primary offerings are just hideous to anyone. Michelle Bachman? Really?!?! Newt Gingritch? HA! Herman Cain?? What is that??!! Mitt Romney looks the part for a TV movie, but I don't know what he's about, and it keep changing.
Anyway, no need to lose any more sleep.
I have no idea if getting a lower credit rating is a terrible thing. It may not matter as much, as it didn't for Japan, or it may be terrible.
Obama did what he could by the end. I think (I hope) he knows what's going on better than I do.
I hope republicans can wise up and stop being so dragged around by the nose by crazy people who have hijacked their party. Their presidential primary offerings are just hideous to anyone. Michelle Bachman? Really?!?! Newt Gingritch? HA! Herman Cain?? What is that??!! Mitt Romney looks the part for a TV movie, but I don't know what he's about, and it keep changing.
Anyway, no need to lose any more sleep.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Angry enough to not sleep
What I am hearing about this "debt deal" they may have reached is not cool. Trillions in cuts, mostly to the poor and young and old.
I have a question. What entitlements will Congress be giving up? Will their families lose health care? Will their children and elderly go hungry? Will their children lack adequate education?
Oh, that's right. Most all of them are millionaires. They are doing fantastic, thanks. They are the annointed ones, many of them are the "Christian, right" folk who think that when Jesus said to 'take care of' those less fortunate than you, he meant Off them.
It kills me to say this, but what is Obama up to? Did he lose his spine?
I am so angry I could bite through my mouthguard. So angry, I am going to be zombie at work tomorrow. An angry zombie.
I have a question. What entitlements will Congress be giving up? Will their families lose health care? Will their children and elderly go hungry? Will their children lack adequate education?
Oh, that's right. Most all of them are millionaires. They are doing fantastic, thanks. They are the annointed ones, many of them are the "Christian, right" folk who think that when Jesus said to 'take care of' those less fortunate than you, he meant Off them.
It kills me to say this, but what is Obama up to? Did he lose his spine?
I am so angry I could bite through my mouthguard. So angry, I am going to be zombie at work tomorrow. An angry zombie.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
An open letter to my Congress People
The President asked us to contact our congresspeople to make sure they know what we are thinking tonight, and it seems that their emails are either all overwhelmed or they really don't want to hear from anyone and just follow their own agendas.
In the mean time, I thought I would voice my views on the whole debt ceiling/budget debacle. I have the misfortune of having a teabagger named Joe Walsh, who won by literally tens of votes as my "representative." The man is an embarrassment. Mark Kirk is my senator, he is a republican but not a crazy one.
Dear Congresspeople:
This is not a time for party above country, Republicans and tea baggers, I am looking at you...and rolling my eyes. It is so sad to watch you, because you think you are being so tough, but really, you are unbelievable, selfish, and serving no one other than yourselves and your corporate benefactors. And you are so incredibly OBVIOUS about it.
Of course we need to cut spending. But even if you are going to tell the lowest denominator in corn pone talk that "ya cain't spend more than ya gots" you are omitting the obvious answer to the question of how to get yourself out of debt the fastest. How? "Ya cain't spend more than what ya gots" AND "Get a source of more revenoo!" Fer instance, why not hit up rich Uncle Jethro for a raise from the 50 cents/wk he's been paying you to mow his estate? Or, in other words, get rid of the loopholes for wealthy people and corporations, and rescind the Bush freaking tax cuts which have been the worst part of our debt spiral. Well, that and Bush's two wars he lied us into. (Republicans were in charge for that one too, yes? You give me no confidence modern day republicans are for the betterment of this country with a record like that.) And you continue to f-ck up the debt talks to score penis points with each other. Shameful.
The Bush tax cuts were STUPID. I remember getting the first check and thinking, "This is it?" But to the rich, it was a whole lot more, but they all did with it what I did with mine--put it in the bank and forgot about it. No new jobs created then or now. In fact, a lot of jobs ran right out of the country, thanks to all those "job providin'" corporations shipping their jobs overseas with no penalty. It will not make a difference to the upper 1% in their lifestyles, so freaking quit treating them as so precious and delicate and tax them that miniscule amount (to them) that they won't even miss. How about some tax incentives for them to get the money back ONLY if they actually provide proof of job creation in THIS country?
I think it is important to remember that there are far fewer rich people than not rich people. And if you pander to them and forget the rest, you will be able to really hear from the American People, not the Fox News "Amuurrrican paeyple" and you will really see an uprising.
In the mean time, I thought I would voice my views on the whole debt ceiling/budget debacle. I have the misfortune of having a teabagger named Joe Walsh, who won by literally tens of votes as my "representative." The man is an embarrassment. Mark Kirk is my senator, he is a republican but not a crazy one.
Dear Congresspeople:
This is not a time for party above country, Republicans and tea baggers, I am looking at you...and rolling my eyes. It is so sad to watch you, because you think you are being so tough, but really, you are unbelievable, selfish, and serving no one other than yourselves and your corporate benefactors. And you are so incredibly OBVIOUS about it.
Of course we need to cut spending. But even if you are going to tell the lowest denominator in corn pone talk that "ya cain't spend more than ya gots" you are omitting the obvious answer to the question of how to get yourself out of debt the fastest. How? "Ya cain't spend more than what ya gots" AND "Get a source of more revenoo!" Fer instance, why not hit up rich Uncle Jethro for a raise from the 50 cents/wk he's been paying you to mow his estate? Or, in other words, get rid of the loopholes for wealthy people and corporations, and rescind the Bush freaking tax cuts which have been the worst part of our debt spiral. Well, that and Bush's two wars he lied us into. (Republicans were in charge for that one too, yes? You give me no confidence modern day republicans are for the betterment of this country with a record like that.) And you continue to f-ck up the debt talks to score penis points with each other. Shameful.
The Bush tax cuts were STUPID. I remember getting the first check and thinking, "This is it?" But to the rich, it was a whole lot more, but they all did with it what I did with mine--put it in the bank and forgot about it. No new jobs created then or now. In fact, a lot of jobs ran right out of the country, thanks to all those "job providin'" corporations shipping their jobs overseas with no penalty. It will not make a difference to the upper 1% in their lifestyles, so freaking quit treating them as so precious and delicate and tax them that miniscule amount (to them) that they won't even miss. How about some tax incentives for them to get the money back ONLY if they actually provide proof of job creation in THIS country?
I think it is important to remember that there are far fewer rich people than not rich people. And if you pander to them and forget the rest, you will be able to really hear from the American People, not the Fox News "Amuurrrican paeyple" and you will really see an uprising.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The loss of a friend
Last week, my husband and I received a shocking and saddening email from our friend, Russ:
Chuck went snorkeling out on a beach with a ferocious rip tide and/or undertow. Costa Rica is infamous for this, and it's topography is such that even a rip tide can go on for miles, and exhaust even the best swimmer. They have had over 400 accidental drownings since 2008.
Both Dan and I have known Chuck since we were in high school. We had lost touch, but figured we would be able to reconnect eventually. One really shouldn't assume there is always time...
Dan and I decided that we would go to his memorial service in Jacksonville, FL. We were so glad we did. We met his wife, who was the love of his life, and we could see she was indeed a very special person, and exactly what Chuck needed. She also has a great family that adored him. We met his business partners, who were also in shock, because they also were family. He was the head of a start up company that is just about to get to the fun part and really take off due to his diligence, relationship building with clients and frugal management of their resources. We could be there to comfort and be with Hilary, his sister, who did an awesome job at his eulogy talking about her love for him and sang the Ohio State Alma Mater beautifully. It was possibly the saddest situation ever, except we know that Chuck truly was happy and having a great life.
A few other high school/college friends made it down, and it was a bittersweet reunion. It was so good to see them. The connections from those early friendships just don't die. It was good to hang out with them, but we all would have preferred a different reason for the reunion. I love these people--they are precious to me. I wish more of our gang could have made it, but notice was very short so they could only be there in spirit.
Wondering about what Chuck was like, and what made him special? Here is is obituary, which was very nicely written but can only say so much. What made him special to me? Well, here are some of my memories from high school onward:
I met Chuck on the forensics team. Chuck always made speech tournaments fun. I had such a fun time attempting directing him and his duo partners in the acting event, dramatic duo. It was usually a lot of laughter, and goofing around with the material. Even "The Odd Couple" became highly experimental theatre.
Hardly any of us made it to final rounds while Chuck was on the speech team. Our speech coach just didn’t really care about coaching, and we rarely knew what we were doing. We had a good-natured girl named Nadia who was smart enough that she would regularly make it to out rounds in debate and get recognized at the awards ceremonies. Chuck, (with his tie around his head by this time) would stand up and shout, “Go, Nads!” and completely embarrass Nadia, even though just about nobody knew the word, “gonads.”
He didn’t respect authority, but wasn’t actually ever much in trouble either. He did run for class president with a potato as his running mate for vice president. They couldn’t stop him, there wasn’t a rule against it. He didn’t win, but he made a great story. Mr. Spud rotted on his dashboard for months.
Chuck was always a good listener. He could always make you laugh at your situation or your absurdity. He made me realize what a lot of fun using my quick wit to make him laugh could be. He loved a great joke, or a really obscure one.
He would give people rides in his junker of a car in high school, but you had to chart the course home with as few right turns as possible because the right side would rooster tail sparks on a right turn.
Dan remembers the empty holes where speakers would be that they threw fast food wrappers into until they couldn’t fit in anymore. It was almost a whole trunk’s worth, but for a long time he couldn't open the trunk. Once he could, they moved all the wrappers and boxes to Russ's locker.
In college:
Chuck started collecting 1966 and 1965 red mustangs. Rides were fun, but they had no seatbelts, and the fumes came through the back seat from the exhaust system. They were broken into way too many times on campus, even though there was nothing inside of them to warrant it.
Chuck was my next door neighbor for my junior and senior year. He was always happy to have me visit, even if sometimes I bored him to pieces with my ranting at a bad breakup or my general cluelessness. He stayed friends with everyone.
He was a great neighbor. A lot better one than I was.
He had a guitar, but I never heard him play. Apparently, he got over his shyness and became quite a musician.
He made his first entrepeneurial endeavor in polymers with plastic fake coffee poured out of paper cups. I don’t think much came of that, but those cups were all over the apartment, like a coffee shop for slobs that really liked only half a cup of café au lait.
He was an exemplary groomsman at our wedding.
Chuck is remembered by me as a friend who was kind, gentle, devastatingly intelligent, humble, quick witted, empathetic, humorous, precious and unique.
The news of his accident shocked and greatly saddened both Dan and I. He will be so missed. We love Chuck.
I just received a call from Chuck Malspeis’ wife. They are in Costa Rica for their honeymoon, and Chuck drowned on Friday. I am sorry, I do not have any more details than that. She is still down in Costa Rica working with the US Embassy to get Chuck’s body returned to the United States. She believes that they will get that squared away most likely on Wednesday, which means they may have services this upcoming weekend. Hilary has flown out to Jacksonville to be with her Dad.
Chuck went snorkeling out on a beach with a ferocious rip tide and/or undertow. Costa Rica is infamous for this, and it's topography is such that even a rip tide can go on for miles, and exhaust even the best swimmer. They have had over 400 accidental drownings since 2008.
Both Dan and I have known Chuck since we were in high school. We had lost touch, but figured we would be able to reconnect eventually. One really shouldn't assume there is always time...
Dan and I decided that we would go to his memorial service in Jacksonville, FL. We were so glad we did. We met his wife, who was the love of his life, and we could see she was indeed a very special person, and exactly what Chuck needed. She also has a great family that adored him. We met his business partners, who were also in shock, because they also were family. He was the head of a start up company that is just about to get to the fun part and really take off due to his diligence, relationship building with clients and frugal management of their resources. We could be there to comfort and be with Hilary, his sister, who did an awesome job at his eulogy talking about her love for him and sang the Ohio State Alma Mater beautifully. It was possibly the saddest situation ever, except we know that Chuck truly was happy and having a great life.
A few other high school/college friends made it down, and it was a bittersweet reunion. It was so good to see them. The connections from those early friendships just don't die. It was good to hang out with them, but we all would have preferred a different reason for the reunion. I love these people--they are precious to me. I wish more of our gang could have made it, but notice was very short so they could only be there in spirit.
Wondering about what Chuck was like, and what made him special? Here is is obituary, which was very nicely written but can only say so much. What made him special to me? Well, here are some of my memories from high school onward:
I met Chuck on the forensics team. Chuck always made speech tournaments fun. I had such a fun time attempting directing him and his duo partners in the acting event, dramatic duo. It was usually a lot of laughter, and goofing around with the material. Even "The Odd Couple" became highly experimental theatre.
Hardly any of us made it to final rounds while Chuck was on the speech team. Our speech coach just didn’t really care about coaching, and we rarely knew what we were doing. We had a good-natured girl named Nadia who was smart enough that she would regularly make it to out rounds in debate and get recognized at the awards ceremonies. Chuck, (with his tie around his head by this time) would stand up and shout, “Go, Nads!” and completely embarrass Nadia, even though just about nobody knew the word, “gonads.”
He didn’t respect authority, but wasn’t actually ever much in trouble either. He did run for class president with a potato as his running mate for vice president. They couldn’t stop him, there wasn’t a rule against it. He didn’t win, but he made a great story. Mr. Spud rotted on his dashboard for months.
Chuck was always a good listener. He could always make you laugh at your situation or your absurdity. He made me realize what a lot of fun using my quick wit to make him laugh could be. He loved a great joke, or a really obscure one.
He would give people rides in his junker of a car in high school, but you had to chart the course home with as few right turns as possible because the right side would rooster tail sparks on a right turn.
Dan remembers the empty holes where speakers would be that they threw fast food wrappers into until they couldn’t fit in anymore. It was almost a whole trunk’s worth, but for a long time he couldn't open the trunk. Once he could, they moved all the wrappers and boxes to Russ's locker.
In college:
Chuck started collecting 1966 and 1965 red mustangs. Rides were fun, but they had no seatbelts, and the fumes came through the back seat from the exhaust system. They were broken into way too many times on campus, even though there was nothing inside of them to warrant it.
Chuck was my next door neighbor for my junior and senior year. He was always happy to have me visit, even if sometimes I bored him to pieces with my ranting at a bad breakup or my general cluelessness. He stayed friends with everyone.
He was a great neighbor. A lot better one than I was.
He had a guitar, but I never heard him play. Apparently, he got over his shyness and became quite a musician.
He made his first entrepeneurial endeavor in polymers with plastic fake coffee poured out of paper cups. I don’t think much came of that, but those cups were all over the apartment, like a coffee shop for slobs that really liked only half a cup of café au lait.
He was an exemplary groomsman at our wedding.
Chuck is remembered by me as a friend who was kind, gentle, devastatingly intelligent, humble, quick witted, empathetic, humorous, precious and unique.
The news of his accident shocked and greatly saddened both Dan and I. He will be so missed. We love Chuck.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Process of Mourning
It has been a tough couple of weeks. My Mom's birthday was late last month, and last Sunday was Mother's Day. We are still in the first year of her sudden passing, and there are still lots of "First Withouts" to get through. Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard, but her birthday and Mother's Day were surprisingly more difficult. In the past couple of weeks I have burst into tears more often than in the month after she died. Even when I am outwardly calm, deep inside I feel like I am bawling.
My Mom thoroughly hated winter, and rejoiced in spring. Now when I look at a flowering redbud or crabapple tree, when I see the tulips opening and the peonies emerging, I think of her and my eyes get wet. I can only have a one way conversation with her now about what's up and planning the garden. It isn't very satisfying.
I spent Mother's Day getting my garden ready with lots of help from my husband and two boys. It's what I always do, and what my mother always did, and I like to think I felt her presence.
Mourning is a process, but it isn't even and it doesn't have an end. When I was in college, I did undergraduate work with a long term bereavement study with the university focused on how young children mourn the death of a parent. We interviewed families with children at 3 months, 6 months, 12 months and 24 months after death. It was a pretty intense interview we put them through about 2 hours in length measuring their mental state. The families were also put through physicals and bloodwork to measure their immune systems, neurological responses and other physiological markers. It was found that immune systems can suffer, clumsiness is more likely, and cognition is affected. Mourning effects the whole body, mentally and physically. What was found in the study is that there is a wide range of behaviors and experiences that fall within the bounds of normal.
It's also normal for mourning to become more intense, and then wane. Sometimes it can be like being on a roller coaster with high highs and low lows. Eventually, it evens out somewhat.
I know I am firmly within the bounds of normal, healthy mourning. It doesn't stop it from being sometimes overwhelming and even a little embarrassing. Last weekend I was at the mall in the Aveda store, and I was offered a complementary neck and shoulder massage. (I never turn that down.) Across from me a woman and her mother were sampling items and bickering playfully, the daughter encouraging her mother to get whatever she wanted, the mother protesting she really didn't need anything. It was so sweet, I started to weep, and I ended up distressing the fellow who was giving me the neck rub. I had to get myself under control enough to let him know he didn't hurt me and what my tears were about. Then I had to make a hasty exit from the store. I walked around looking down and got myself settled down. Then I had to laugh when a guy at one of the skin cream kiosks in the middle of the mall tried to flag me down with, "Hey miss, what are you doing about those bags under your eyes?" (I mean really!!!! What nerve! What a dreadful sales technique!)
So, I'm riding the ride. I'm grateful to be feeling anything at all, but I look forward to the day when I am more intergrated with this process.
My Mom thoroughly hated winter, and rejoiced in spring. Now when I look at a flowering redbud or crabapple tree, when I see the tulips opening and the peonies emerging, I think of her and my eyes get wet. I can only have a one way conversation with her now about what's up and planning the garden. It isn't very satisfying.
I spent Mother's Day getting my garden ready with lots of help from my husband and two boys. It's what I always do, and what my mother always did, and I like to think I felt her presence.
Mourning is a process, but it isn't even and it doesn't have an end. When I was in college, I did undergraduate work with a long term bereavement study with the university focused on how young children mourn the death of a parent. We interviewed families with children at 3 months, 6 months, 12 months and 24 months after death. It was a pretty intense interview we put them through about 2 hours in length measuring their mental state. The families were also put through physicals and bloodwork to measure their immune systems, neurological responses and other physiological markers. It was found that immune systems can suffer, clumsiness is more likely, and cognition is affected. Mourning effects the whole body, mentally and physically. What was found in the study is that there is a wide range of behaviors and experiences that fall within the bounds of normal.
It's also normal for mourning to become more intense, and then wane. Sometimes it can be like being on a roller coaster with high highs and low lows. Eventually, it evens out somewhat.
I know I am firmly within the bounds of normal, healthy mourning. It doesn't stop it from being sometimes overwhelming and even a little embarrassing. Last weekend I was at the mall in the Aveda store, and I was offered a complementary neck and shoulder massage. (I never turn that down.) Across from me a woman and her mother were sampling items and bickering playfully, the daughter encouraging her mother to get whatever she wanted, the mother protesting she really didn't need anything. It was so sweet, I started to weep, and I ended up distressing the fellow who was giving me the neck rub. I had to get myself under control enough to let him know he didn't hurt me and what my tears were about. Then I had to make a hasty exit from the store. I walked around looking down and got myself settled down. Then I had to laugh when a guy at one of the skin cream kiosks in the middle of the mall tried to flag me down with, "Hey miss, what are you doing about those bags under your eyes?" (I mean really!!!! What nerve! What a dreadful sales technique!)
So, I'm riding the ride. I'm grateful to be feeling anything at all, but I look forward to the day when I am more intergrated with this process.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Compost
It's not a secret. I garden.
I can't keep a manicure, I always have dirt under my nails for at least 5 months of the year. I have a tan on my back only were my shirt rides up when I bend over to weed.
I grow a little bit of everything in my 30' by 50' garden, and I keep it all mixed up so pests don't know what to go after. I use no chemicals, no fertilizers, just compost. Weeds happen. A lot. To the naked eye, it looks like a mess, but inside it is one huge cornucopia of unusual edibles. Some of the edibles are weeds.
This month I wrote my first article for the local Sierra Club chapter on the topic outdoor home composting. They really liked it, so I will probably be writing some more for them. It probably wouldn't be too cool to publish it here even though it was not with any agreement of exclusivity, but I will just brag about it a tiny bit.
I can't keep a manicure, I always have dirt under my nails for at least 5 months of the year. I have a tan on my back only were my shirt rides up when I bend over to weed.
I grow a little bit of everything in my 30' by 50' garden, and I keep it all mixed up so pests don't know what to go after. I use no chemicals, no fertilizers, just compost. Weeds happen. A lot. To the naked eye, it looks like a mess, but inside it is one huge cornucopia of unusual edibles. Some of the edibles are weeds.
This month I wrote my first article for the local Sierra Club chapter on the topic outdoor home composting. They really liked it, so I will probably be writing some more for them. It probably wouldn't be too cool to publish it here even though it was not with any agreement of exclusivity, but I will just brag about it a tiny bit.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Chasing Tornadoes
For a few years when I was little, Ohio was having a larger than normal number of tornado warnings and touchdowns.
When I was seven, we were at my brother's little league game when the clouds began to darken ominously. Just as the coaches were conferring about calling the game, a HUGE gust of wind whipped up out of nowhere. My mom was hugely pregnant at the time, and was trying to hurry to the car with lawn chairs in one hand and my hand in the other when the wind suddenly got VERY intense, and I was very nearly blown off my feet. Somehow, my mom, who was not only enormously pregnant but also challenged with one bad leg that never let her be able to run, managed to keep both me and the lawn chairs from blowing away. It was the most harrowing 2 block ride home in our station wagon, and I would have sworn to you that the picture the next day on the front of the Columbus Citizen-Journal was of our house with the tornado not quite touching down on it.
When I was eight, we began to assume in the spring and fall that dinner would be eaten downstairs around the workbench in the northwest corner of the basement because there would be a tornado warning precisely at dinnertime.
My older brother and his friend would sneak out on their bikes if they could manage it, and try to identify and "follow" funnel clouds. I thought this sounded fantastic, but I wasn't allowed to go with them. Probably just as well.
When I got older, I realized how foolish this was. I volunteered as a teenager at the Center of Science and Industry (COSI), and one of my favorite places to get assigned in was a real, working weather station. We would do presentations about the weather, and the finale was shooting a pencil through a long "tornado gun" at wind speeds comparable to a tornado--150-200 miles per hour. A pencil could go straight through a piece of 2 x 4. We also had a piece of wood siding that had been pierced by a playing card that stuck halfway out of it which had been done by an actual tornado. It really brought home to me that you don't want to mess around--get somewhere underground and reenforced!
When I moved out to California, friends that had lived there all there lives were in terror of tornadoes and wondered how midwesterners could live with that as a threat. I used to joke, "Hey, you guys have earthquakes! I rather have tornadoes, at least you can hide from them!"
The pictures and stories of the supercell of tornadoes that went across the south yesterday are gut-wrenching. The loss of life seems like it should be unheard of in this century. However, an F5 or three of that caliber is hard to keep safe from, and in the south they never seem to get that they need to be more serious about storm shelters. So many people had nowhere to go even in their own houses. In all the rebuilding that is doing to have to happen, I hope that they will have the foresight to add decent storm shelters in their new plans.
And I fervently hope that there weren't any boys or girls caught out too far from home while riding around on their bikes playing 'storm chasers' or at least that they were able to find somewhere to hide.
When I was seven, we were at my brother's little league game when the clouds began to darken ominously. Just as the coaches were conferring about calling the game, a HUGE gust of wind whipped up out of nowhere. My mom was hugely pregnant at the time, and was trying to hurry to the car with lawn chairs in one hand and my hand in the other when the wind suddenly got VERY intense, and I was very nearly blown off my feet. Somehow, my mom, who was not only enormously pregnant but also challenged with one bad leg that never let her be able to run, managed to keep both me and the lawn chairs from blowing away. It was the most harrowing 2 block ride home in our station wagon, and I would have sworn to you that the picture the next day on the front of the Columbus Citizen-Journal was of our house with the tornado not quite touching down on it.
When I was eight, we began to assume in the spring and fall that dinner would be eaten downstairs around the workbench in the northwest corner of the basement because there would be a tornado warning precisely at dinnertime.
My older brother and his friend would sneak out on their bikes if they could manage it, and try to identify and "follow" funnel clouds. I thought this sounded fantastic, but I wasn't allowed to go with them. Probably just as well.
When I got older, I realized how foolish this was. I volunteered as a teenager at the Center of Science and Industry (COSI), and one of my favorite places to get assigned in was a real, working weather station. We would do presentations about the weather, and the finale was shooting a pencil through a long "tornado gun" at wind speeds comparable to a tornado--150-200 miles per hour. A pencil could go straight through a piece of 2 x 4. We also had a piece of wood siding that had been pierced by a playing card that stuck halfway out of it which had been done by an actual tornado. It really brought home to me that you don't want to mess around--get somewhere underground and reenforced!
When I moved out to California, friends that had lived there all there lives were in terror of tornadoes and wondered how midwesterners could live with that as a threat. I used to joke, "Hey, you guys have earthquakes! I rather have tornadoes, at least you can hide from them!"
The pictures and stories of the supercell of tornadoes that went across the south yesterday are gut-wrenching. The loss of life seems like it should be unheard of in this century. However, an F5 or three of that caliber is hard to keep safe from, and in the south they never seem to get that they need to be more serious about storm shelters. So many people had nowhere to go even in their own houses. In all the rebuilding that is doing to have to happen, I hope that they will have the foresight to add decent storm shelters in their new plans.
And I fervently hope that there weren't any boys or girls caught out too far from home while riding around on their bikes playing 'storm chasers' or at least that they were able to find somewhere to hide.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sharing a beautiful TED Talk
If you haven't wandered over to the site, Ted.com, you should, to hear some of the most amazing speeches on a wide range of topics. Some of them are so inspiring, and many reduce me to tears.
This one is one of my latest favorites to spring into tears by:
This one is one of my latest favorites to spring into tears by:
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Murphy's Irish Stout. Oh, I am in love again.
Tonight Dan and I went to an Irish pub in Barrington called McGonagal's Pub, just to try someplace new. It ended up being really very nice, and definitely a place we will go back to.
The atmosphere was nice, lots of wood on walls and floor, lots of room, so even though it was crowded, it wasn't overbearing and we could hear each other.
The menu was interesting, and the appetizer (smoked salmon wrapped around crab on top of a salad) and the spicy curry fries were really tasty. There is a lot of really good looking food, but we will be back to explore it more later. Tonight we were peckish.
My favorite thing on the menu though, was Murphy's Irish Stout. They had a marvelous keg of it there, properly dispensed, and it tasted like the beer you get in Ireland or Great Britain.
Murphy's is a sipping beer, one that you love to have play all over your tongue. The foam on top is extremely creamy and very thick, and the beer itself is chocolately and deep and not very fizzy at all, yet it doesn't taste flat. It could be a meal in itself, and I just loved it.
I am very excited to have found it well served nearby, and even had the rest of the restaurant experience terrible (which it definitely wasn't), I would still return for a such an authentic tasting, well-poured glass of Murphy's Irish Stout.
The atmosphere was nice, lots of wood on walls and floor, lots of room, so even though it was crowded, it wasn't overbearing and we could hear each other.
The menu was interesting, and the appetizer (smoked salmon wrapped around crab on top of a salad) and the spicy curry fries were really tasty. There is a lot of really good looking food, but we will be back to explore it more later. Tonight we were peckish.
My favorite thing on the menu though, was Murphy's Irish Stout. They had a marvelous keg of it there, properly dispensed, and it tasted like the beer you get in Ireland or Great Britain.
Murphy's is a sipping beer, one that you love to have play all over your tongue. The foam on top is extremely creamy and very thick, and the beer itself is chocolately and deep and not very fizzy at all, yet it doesn't taste flat. It could be a meal in itself, and I just loved it.
I am very excited to have found it well served nearby, and even had the rest of the restaurant experience terrible (which it definitely wasn't), I would still return for a such an authentic tasting, well-poured glass of Murphy's Irish Stout.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Making Changes, Working a Program (or app)
I have made mention of the fact that I am often not pleased with my weight or spongitude of my muscles in the spring. Usually my solution has been to train to run a marathon. However, I have decided to be a little gentler to myself this year, and instead I am using the wonders of technology to keep my diet and exercise in check.
For the past two weeks, I have been using two android apps in tandem--one called Cardiotrainer, and the other is called Caloriffic--to work towards increasing fitness and decreasing what I am eating.
Caloriffic puts foods into three different catagories; green yellow and red. I bumped it up from its free version to make it calculate out my calories for weight loss goals. It's extremely easy to use, and things are catagorized in such a way to make entry easy and quick and pretty accurate. It's a great way get a reactive effect from self reporting, and makes me more mindful of what I am putting into my mouth and when.
Cardiotrainer I have been using for almost a year, and it's great for using the GPS to tell you how far you have gone, and how fast. I love that there is a little British "man" who announces my times, my calorie burns and how long I have been walking or running or biking.
Since I have upgraded part of the apps to work together, I now get a listing of how many calories I have burned this month, and how many miles I have gone. So far in April, I have matched my total for all of March. I am shooting for 10,000 calories burned in April. I am halfway there.
Is it working? It's too early to say. It has only been two weeks, and I have worked out all but one day. My scale is very old and isn't giving accurate numbers--either that or I have gained 6 lbs. off and on this week, sometimes in the space of minutes. I do believe I will be working from the "scale of pants" until I get a replacement. The Scale of Pants says that things are fitting a skosh better, but nothing visible yet.
For the past two weeks, I have been using two android apps in tandem--one called Cardiotrainer, and the other is called Caloriffic--to work towards increasing fitness and decreasing what I am eating.
Caloriffic puts foods into three different catagories; green yellow and red. I bumped it up from its free version to make it calculate out my calories for weight loss goals. It's extremely easy to use, and things are catagorized in such a way to make entry easy and quick and pretty accurate. It's a great way get a reactive effect from self reporting, and makes me more mindful of what I am putting into my mouth and when.
Cardiotrainer I have been using for almost a year, and it's great for using the GPS to tell you how far you have gone, and how fast. I love that there is a little British "man" who announces my times, my calorie burns and how long I have been walking or running or biking.
Since I have upgraded part of the apps to work together, I now get a listing of how many calories I have burned this month, and how many miles I have gone. So far in April, I have matched my total for all of March. I am shooting for 10,000 calories burned in April. I am halfway there.
Is it working? It's too early to say. It has only been two weeks, and I have worked out all but one day. My scale is very old and isn't giving accurate numbers--either that or I have gained 6 lbs. off and on this week, sometimes in the space of minutes. I do believe I will be working from the "scale of pants" until I get a replacement. The Scale of Pants says that things are fitting a skosh better, but nothing visible yet.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Random Thoughts
I am working on my first actual essay in a long while, but in the mean time, while it's cooking I thought I would jot out some of the dross that is cluttering my brain
To the friend who does not know how to come back after a grievous mistake, just come back. Be present. We know who you are. And we know what's influencing you. Stop avoiding us. We'll tell you you're stupid, which you know already, and then we will be happy you're back in our lives. The end.
Finding the excellent job really is all about who you know. I need to get to know a lot more people.
Computers eat life.
The more the religious right asserts itself as a political concern, the more I viscerally hate religion. I don't self identify as christian anymore. God is still cool, but those people on the religious right don't seem to know Him, and too many of them preach in churches.
To the GOP, I look at your budget proposals and think--are you effing kidding. Really. You may be all about serving the corporate masters that pay for your campaigns, but remember, it's still us "little people" that vote. The real drivers of the economy are NOT the upper 2%, but the rest of us who buy and sell and work in this nation. If we are not thriving, the country cannot thrive economically, or in any other way. Also, putting the deficit reduction on the backs of the elderly and disabled and the poor while giving free money to rich people who don't need it really makes you as a group look like a bunch of self-serving, rich entitled assholes. Oh wait. Gosh! Almost all y'all in Congress are! And here is a lovely article that explains why you are such shitheads to the lower quadrants and does it all so much better than I can right now.
Everything going on in the middle east, the continuing genocides in African nations like Sudan, the never ending wars that we never should have let ourselves be LIED into, the ozone depleting 40% over the poles this winter, Japan's many crises, and the stagnation of so many things that we know really need to change, like finding energy sources that won't kill off the planet as we know it...it gets so depressing. It gets so large. I don't think most people can put their heads around it. It's all so frightening and complex. No wonder people get so easily distracted by Charlie Sheen acting like he's imploding for the masses, or Jersey Shore. It's stupid, but it's simple. It's also incredibly sad that so many people latch on to crap like this like it matters while the world is threatening to disintegrate around us.
To the friend who does not know how to come back after a grievous mistake, just come back. Be present. We know who you are. And we know what's influencing you. Stop avoiding us. We'll tell you you're stupid, which you know already, and then we will be happy you're back in our lives. The end.
Finding the excellent job really is all about who you know. I need to get to know a lot more people.
Computers eat life.
The more the religious right asserts itself as a political concern, the more I viscerally hate religion. I don't self identify as christian anymore. God is still cool, but those people on the religious right don't seem to know Him, and too many of them preach in churches.
To the GOP, I look at your budget proposals and think--are you effing kidding. Really. You may be all about serving the corporate masters that pay for your campaigns, but remember, it's still us "little people" that vote. The real drivers of the economy are NOT the upper 2%, but the rest of us who buy and sell and work in this nation. If we are not thriving, the country cannot thrive economically, or in any other way. Also, putting the deficit reduction on the backs of the elderly and disabled and the poor while giving free money to rich people who don't need it really makes you as a group look like a bunch of self-serving, rich entitled assholes. Oh wait. Gosh! Almost all y'all in Congress are! And here is a lovely article that explains why you are such shitheads to the lower quadrants and does it all so much better than I can right now.
Everything going on in the middle east, the continuing genocides in African nations like Sudan, the never ending wars that we never should have let ourselves be LIED into, the ozone depleting 40% over the poles this winter, Japan's many crises, and the stagnation of so many things that we know really need to change, like finding energy sources that won't kill off the planet as we know it...it gets so depressing. It gets so large. I don't think most people can put their heads around it. It's all so frightening and complex. No wonder people get so easily distracted by Charlie Sheen acting like he's imploding for the masses, or Jersey Shore. It's stupid, but it's simple. It's also incredibly sad that so many people latch on to crap like this like it matters while the world is threatening to disintegrate around us.
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